Above: Onna Meyer shows her opposition to the use of genetically modified organisms at a protest Jan. 24 in front of a Monsanto tent on UF’s campus. “I do it because I’ve got to stand up for what I believe. I believe in environmental justice.” Photo by Erik Knudsen.

Monsanto Hits UF on Nationwide Tour

There’s a new act in town, folks.

Monsanto has had a giant trailer plastered with “AMERICA’S FARMERS” and blown-up images of shimmery fields and harvests parked on the Reitz North Lawn on UF’s campus for the past few days. This trailer is part of Monsanto’s outreach tour, visiting community centers and college campuses in suburban and urban areas across the country.

“Our goal is to let people know where their food comes from,” said Kera Relando, an agricultural educator for Monsanto who is a member of the traveling troupe of Monsanto representatives.

Ed, a man with respectably well-kept scruff, dressed as suavely as a member of the “one percent” himself, was part of the group of Occupy Gainesville protesters demonstrating at the Monsanto trailer on Tuesday. Ed is one of his pseudonyms, anyway. He led the protesters’ people’s mic and die-in.

“There are…15, 16, 17… about 20 protesters. They’re lying on the ground,” one Monsanto representative reported to his earpiece, just after Ed and the rest of the protesters collapsed on the lawn as part of the die-in.

“We want people to become aware of where their food comes from,” Ed said.

Hm, this sounds eerily familiar. Oh right, it’s because we just heard that line from Monsanto’s rep, Relando.

So, if the corporate giant (Monsanto) and the corporation haters (Occupy Gainesville) are at the same place for the same reason, shouldn’t they be collaborating and not butting heads?

Their purposes are essentially identical, but their intentions are “diametrically opposed opposites,” as Ed explained.

The protesters were also there to educate, just like Monsanto. Same motive, yet on complete opposite sides of the spectrum in terms of educational content.

As Ed explained, the protesters stand against Monsanto’s business practices and attempt to control all aspects of agriculture. Protesters handed out fliers all day, urging students to push for responsible food labeling, distinguishing Genetically Modified Organisms (GMOs), or “Frankenfoods,” from unaltered foods. These GMOs, as the flier elaborated, may “increase cancer risks, create super-pests, super-weeds and new plant viruses, increase use of toxic pesticides, and contaminate organic and non-GMO crops.”

Of course, Monsanto had a different story. Their tour took students through three sections: challenges faced by America’s farmers, a 10-minute film featuring farmers attesting to Monsanto’s technology — subliminally relaying a sense of community and trust through presentation of the farmers’ grandparents and children — and finally a room full of promise, cheer and hope for the future, all made possible by the Monsanto’s biotechnology research and genetically modified crops.

Oh yeah, and they were also giving out free lip balm.

The first welcoming room, presenting the farmers’ challenges, even featured a quote relating Monsanto’s agricultural practices to world peace.

The themepark-esque tour was aesthetically pleasing and so were the “educational” handouts, especially juxtaposed with the simple black-and-white fliers the occupy protesters were handing out. Let’s just hope students are smart enough to take a closer look at the content of each.

Both the at-large and District 1 City Commission candidates will be there to answer your questions about how they plan to contribute to our community over the next three years.

For some background on each candidate, check out The Fine Print’s election guide before heading to the library on Wednesday.

And remember to vote on Jan. 31. For your convenience, here is a list of polling locations.

If you want to vote early while listening to local bands and enjoying some great local food, check out Gainesville Rocks the Vote on Jan. 21 between noon and 5 p.m. at Bo Diddley Plaza.

The Think Local Civic Forum is co-sponsored by The Fine Print, indiegainesville, The Iguana and the Alachua County Library District.

In his weekly blog series The Last Generation—really more of a highly flirtatious conversation, littered with innuendo—Max Warren discusses matters of general interest to our generation, frequently quotes things, and spills out the addled contents of a deviant mind.

As we move into 2012, I’ve noticed that most people seem preoccupied with two things. The first, of course, comes with every new year: resolutions and the bright, shining future we intend to build for ourselves—this year, finally, is the year. The second, on the other hand, is something new: will December 2012 really, as some doomsayers claim, be the End of Days—have we truly seen our last Dick Clark and Ryan Seacrest New Year?

The first is vital because, I truly believe that, regardless of fervently made resolutions, time is running out for us. The second matters because, well, if the Mayans are being read correctly, then we’re the Last Generation in more ways than one…

Now, being a confirmed skeptic, I personally am expecting little on December 21, 2012. Don’t misunderstand; I’ll be drinking as much champagne as possible with my nearest and dearest just in case, but I’m expecting to cruise right through to another sunrise. Even if I weren’t, though, I don’t see a potential apocalypse as all that consequential — and that, dear readers, is what I want to discuss.

You see, there’s a secret that I’m going to let you in on.

The world is ending every day.

I know that sounds obvious, at first glance. You can hardly read the news without being depressed by tinpot dictators, the collapse of the euro, or horrendous natural disasters. But those are big, abstract fears, and not what I’m talking about. After all, you can write all of them off as problems in a far off place that most of us are fortunate not to inhabit; problems that are not likely to affect our fat and prosperous American lives anytime soon. No, what I’m concerned about is more personal.

Do something for me. Breathe in. Breathe out. Feel your heartbeat in your own chest. That’s a timer and it’s counting down to the day you die. Now close your eyes and picture nothing but nothing but nothing but that blackness, forever.

Scary? It can be. At the end of the day, we’re nothing more than walking bags of ephemeral thoughts and squishy organs and we’re all marching towards that long, long night. Death—to use the word—is something everyone before us has done and everyone after us will do. You’re going to be dead far, far longer than you’re alive—forever even. And, you know what? Eternity is a really long time, whether we’re conscious of it or not.

Your world is ending every single day. And guess what? There’s no promise of a ripe old age. Sure, it could be sixty years before your time runs out, but it could just as easily be tomorrow. At the end, as Neil Gaiman put it, you get what everyone gets—you get a lifetime.

Doesn’t that sound like a pretty good goddamn reason to do something while you’re here?

You know, we talk a big game, most of us, about all the things we’re going to do and all the things we’re going to be. The world is ours, to hear it told. But all that talk is just that—talk. I think that too often we convince ourselves that we’re immortal (much better than having to face the thought of all that blackness) and, as a result, it becomes far easier for us to say, “I’ll turn my life around tomorrow.”

That’s fear. It’s fear of making a bold commitment and its fear of facing our own mortality. It’s the belief that if we can convince ourselves there’s room to push things back, then we can’t die — simply because we haven’t had time to accomplish our goals yet. That’s our conceit and our self-delusion. Well, the thing is, death doesn’t care how far down you’ve gone on your bucket list.

I have a friend, we’ll call her Aiden, who recently escaped Zion, fled to Chicago and began a new life. Going into it, she had nothing but a very few friends in her adoptive city, and the commitment that comes with deciding to pursue her dreams. A scary situation to dive into and, the caution mongers might even call it ill-advised—but it’s working out swimmingly so far and, even if it weren’t, I know she’d still rather have taken her shot than played it safe.

That’s what matters: that we take our shot, rather than wasting weeks, or months, or even years lining it up. Life is constantly in motion and, when it comes down to it, everything is a moving target. If you wait too long, you’re apt to find that your target has moved and you’ve missed all the same. Only now, you’re left with that much less ammo and time.

I’m not advocating action without deliberation. What I am advocating, though, is that once we’ve thought it through and made our decisions, we don’t then delude ourselves into paralysis. There’s simply not enough time.

Are the aliens coming in 2012? Is it Ragnarok? The Battle of Meggido? It doesn’t matter. The point is that on December 21st, no matter what happens, all of us will be nearly one year closer to death — if we’re fortunate enough to make it even that far. So seize this year you’re being given, make it yours, rely on yourself to change your life and not the fairy dust of some arbitrary resolution.

Let me leave you with a thought by “Wild” Bill Saroyan. He was speaking to writers, but I think it’s applicable to all of us:

“Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep really sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.”

Tick-tock, kids.

Max welcomes your comments and criticisms in the appropriate section below. He further wishes to direct all conspiracy theories and requests for invitations to his 2012 party—to be held at the Flat Iron Lounge in NYC—to Max.Z.Warren@gmail.com

Greenland is Melting

Album Title: “Where Were We”
Released: Oct. 11
Recorded at: Medusa Productions
Sounds like: The Avett Brothers,
Inspiration: Stories from the band members’ lives
Key tracks: “Always”
Where to get it: Order it here.

Upright bass/ Kick drum/ Rhythm section: Will Dueease
Electric guitar: David Low
Acoustic guitar/ Vocals: Shaun Perira
Banjo/ Vocals: Karl Seltzer

Greenland is Melting doesn’t just play bluegrass. And they certainly aren’t strumming high-fallutin’ “blu gras” with French accents. They prefer to define themselves as Americana grass.
On their sophomore album, “Where Were We,” narrative lyrics blend with banjo and guitar-strumming for an appropriately swampy album. The band’s songwriting has come a long way since their first album, Seltzer said. The first full-length album, “Our Hearts Are Gold, Our Grass Is Blue,” was recorded in three days and mostly influenced by other bands.
“Where Were We” is like listening to a collection of short stories set to a unique folk music soundtrack. If you close your eyes, you’ll be transported to a wooden swing on the back porch, sipping sweet tea. The banjo chords on the opening track “For What It’s Worth” will keep your toes tapping.
This year, the band, who are all 24-year-old UF graduates, have taken their Florida sound all over the country. They spent the first half of September playing a cross-country tour that ended at Awesomefest V in San Diego, Calif.
Although the festival was their endpoint, it was “really just an excuse to go on a road trip,” Dueease said. They put 5,500 miles on their ‘93 Ford Econoline van, which served as kitchen, bedroom and lounge. It is outfitted with flannel sheets, a laptop mounted in the TV cubby, a single burner stove and a bag full of orange candy slices.
They spent 18 days on the road together – and still don’t hate each other.
“It’s like I’ve been dating three dudes for four years now,” Dueease said.
And they hope to continue their long-term relationship into the future.
“We want to bring back the Gainesville music scene,” Perira said.
By Ashira Morris

Far Away Planes

Album Title: “Water on All Sides”
Released: Oct. 6
Recorded at: Black Bear Audio Maul in Gainesville
Sounds like: Minus the Bear, Vampire Weekend
Inspiration: Minus the Bear, Kings of Leon, Two Door Cinema Club
Key tracks: “Stow Away” and “Midnight”
Where to get it: $5.94 download on iTunes and Amazon and free downloads on their Facebook page

Bass/ Vocals: Tim Anderson
Drums: Kevin Biegler
Guitar/ Vocals:  John Ketcham
Keyboard/ Synthesizer:  Luke Spika
Guitar: John Stoltz

Far Away Planes makes a smooth landing with “Water on All Sides,” their newest dance-rock album.
Though their first album, “Movie Night,” released in Feb. 2011, has the same catchy intros and spunky drumbeats, the band agreed that their previous recording experience allowed them to fine tune tracks on “Water on All Sides” in a new way.
“When we went in to record the second time around, we knew what we wanted and weren’t afraid to ask for it,” Ketcham said.
Strangely enough, the band’s solid vision of the final product rarely included lyrics. Biegler explained that most songs on the album began with a basic keyboard riff. If everyone liked it, individual instrumental parts were added.  Lyrics always came last – sometimes last-minute.
“We’d go in to record and the guys would look at me like, ‘You do have lyrics for these songs, right?’,” Ketcham said.
Even though each band member writes his own part based on the initial first riff, their individual styles blend together for a cohesive and structured sound.
“It’s very boom-box-to-beach-party. Perfect for a chill weekend, yet up-beat enough to be your Monday morning upper,” Spika said.
By Erica Kenick

Ancient River

Album Title: “Songs From North America”
Released: Aug. 3
Recorded at: Their home
Sounds like: Pink Floyd, Jimi Hendrix
Inspiration: (for this album) Neil Young
Key Tracks: “Not Here,” “Solid Ground” and “Flood”
Where to get it: $5 download on ancientriver.bandcamp.com or $10 CD on the band’s website.

Bass: Zach Veltheim
Drums: Chad Voight
Guitar/ Vocals: J. Barreto

Ancient River breaks the Gainesville mold of hipster, punk rock by staying true to their love of classic rock.
Their ‘60s and ‘70s American rock-and-roll sound manages to attract a diverse fan base. Older fans appreciate the reminiscent experience of the days of old rock-and-roll, while younger fans are excited to get a piece of that ‘60s lifestyle.
“Songs from North America” features tracks inspired by traditional and classic Americana, but with a psychedelic edge. Think Bob Dylan meets Jimi Hendrix.
Ancient River, who have been together for eight years, create a unique viewer experience by combining their live music with projection slides, colored oil and smoke machines.
Barreto explains that while other bands put out maybe one or two albums a year, they release between four and five.
“We’re the most prolific and versatile [band]; our biggest strength is that we keep putting out records,” Bareto said.
When working on new material, which is often, they say they naturally feed off one another. Their motto: “Less talk and more rock.”
By Natalia Sieukaran

The Boswellians

Album Title: “Hello hands”
Released: Oct. 14
Recorded: Between Travis Atria’s Experimentorium and Collin Whitlock’s The Warren
Sounds like: Regina Spektor
Inspiration: Department of Eagles, Billie Holiday
Key Tracks: “Cloud dancing,” “Warm Inside” and “Don’t Wait”
Where to get it: theboswellians.bandcamp.com and at Hear Again for $5

Vocals/ Guitar: Amy Lobasso
Piano/ Backing Vocals: Ryan Backman
Drums: Collin Whitlock
Bass: Scott Kauffmann

The heart and soul of 1920’s jazz and big band eras have caught on in modern-day Gainesville. On their new album, “Hello Hands,” the Boswellians give traditional jazz a catchy 1960s pop twist.
The Boswellians, named after James Boswell, a famous biographer who was an ardent follower of others’ works, formed in April 2010 and have already gathered a large fan base.
In the midst of heavy guitar- and bass-driven bands, their prominent piano sound is rare and distinguishable. Originally, Backman was hesitant to play piano for the band.
“I felt weird about playing the piano, but in this band I appreciate it more,” he said.
While most bands create new material when jamming together, blues-inspired Lobasso explains a piano demands a more meticulous approach when creating new material; there needs to be structure and melody.
For their new album, “Hello Hands,” the Boswellians were inspired by modern composers as well as French Impressionist music.
The track “Cloud Dancing” has a vintage 30s-like vocal recording quality that’s reminiscent of Billie Holiday.  It manages to capture the pathos of the time as Lobasso croons lyrics, “Mistakes are often made, perhaps we’ll find a way.”
For a change of pace, “Don’t Wait” provides an upbeat melody with drum fills, cymbal crashes and heavy piano riffs that resonate well when the song slips into a gloomy trance as Lobasso chants, “Don’t wait for me.”
The band says they are interested in “activities of a Boswellian quality,” an interest that is certainly evident in their era-spanning album.
By Natalia Sieukaran

Ars Phoenix

Album Title: “Hanging Fire”
Released: Sept. 23
Sound like: Soundtrack to an ‘80s horror movie
Recorded at: Various private residences
Inspiration: The Cure, The Smiths, Clan of Xymox
Key tracks: “Secret Manuscript” and “0011001”
Where to get it: Free download at arsphoenix.bandcamp.com

Vocals/ Guitar/ Synthesizers/ Rhythm Programming/ Five-String Bass: Jon Glover
Guitar: Paige Fowler

Fueled by 10 years of the FEST as well as a colorful punk rock history, Gainesville tends to produce and encourage punk angst and experimental hipsterdom among its musically inclined, often leaving other genres to fend for themselves.  However, Gainesville’s own goth scene, though grossly undervalued and comparably smaller than others, is no less talented and productive.
Ars Phoenix’s new release, “Hanging Fire,” has been in the works since its members Jon Glover and Paige Fowler first met in 2009 through the University of Florida’s English department. Both musicians were seeking doctoral degrees in English literature, as well as someone to jam with.
Though Glover had previously released an album as a one-man band under the name Ars Phoenix, “Hanging Fire” is the first album to feature both artists. According to Fowler, the addition of his guitar gives Ars Phoenix a “crunchier” sound.
Building on material Glover had already prepared, the duo gradually pieced together a post-punk album with gothic flavor. Skilfully layered sounds of keyboard, guitar and synths give each track a haunting, cinematic feel comparable to the psychotronic film genre.
Despite a dark sound, moments of suspense and track titles such as “Phantom Pain,” the album’s release a month before Halloween was merely a timely coincidence.
“There’s nothing tame about what we do,” Fowler says. “We’re there to get people amped up and give a sonic boost.”
By Erica Kenick

For more local albums, check out For the Record: Spring 2011.

In his weekly blog series The Last Generation—really more of a highly flirtatious conversation, littered with innuendo—Max Warren discusses matters of general interest to our generation, frequently quotes things, and spills out the addled contents of a deviant mind.

First, let me apologize for my absence from your hearts and screens last week. Law school snuck up and forced an actual week’s worth of work on me as punishment for a four month long movie and liquor binge (most recently, Welcome to the Riley’s with Wild Turkey). Now, on to business.

I promised in my first post that this blog would not be a neo-Luddite rant and I’m going to honor that, at least inasmuch as I’m able. I do have something to say, however.

We are, as a generation, becoming increasingly plugged in, whether it be to our ear buds or e-readers. And I worry, as everything that possibly can go digital does so, that we’re going to be unwilling to wait patiently on the things that can’t—that we may cast them aside as remnants of the stupid ages. Ultimately, I’m worried that we’re building a world less beautiful. Life is a play (or maybe a Showtime series)—I’ve always believed this—and I think it would be good for us to pay some attention to the type of stage upon which we’re choosing to act it out.

Ain’t she a beauty? She’s a Remington Rand Model 1, circa 1935. As of a week ago, she’s mine—an early Christmas present. She doesn’t have a name yet and I’m open to suggestions, but I have to admit I’m leaning heavily towards River Tam.

Now, I didn’t just show her to you because I’m proud/aroused just looking at her. River is going to help me make my point. When you punch those keys you feel the words you’re writing. You hear the goddamn smack when the type bar bangs each letter onto the paper. Even though it’s only ink, you write like you’re carving each word into stone.

Now, a brief contrast.

That, on the other hand, is a Kindle. As far as I can tell, they’re basically amazing devices that can carry around all the books that have ever been written or ever will be written. They’re portable, lightweight, user-friendly, focus-grouped and built for a modern user. They also have an unfortunate connotation in my head, however, because of one incident.

I was on a bus, sitting behind an obese woman, who was holding her Kindle in one hand and a big, salted pretzel in the other, pausing from her read only long enough to wipe the grease and errant salt grains from the device.

It’s still a fine device, and I am willing to accept that she may not be the product’s average user. But, let us compare the general experience to reading from a good old-fashioned book.

There’s a certain powerful feeling that comes with holding a book in your hands and cracking the spine. There’s a certain sensation—something like awe—that can come from feeling the weight of the words (if you don’t believe me, go find a copy of The Brothers Karamazov). And there’s a certain pleasure in picking an old book off the shelf and re-reading your favorite passages, which of course you dog-eared. Reading a book is an experience and I, for one, believe that merely displaying the words on a screen is not the same thing.

Then, of course, there are the intangible things. My loyal and attentive readers will recall that the first time my calling—my raison d’être, if you will—hit me in the face was after I read a book called This Side of Paradise. I actually discovered Paradise by accident. Walking around the bookstore, I vaguely recognized the name F. Scott Fitzgerald and randomly picked it off the shelf. It was a very important moment in my life and when I close my eyes I can still recall that store, the smell, the very moment in time. I can relive the scene.

And maybe people who browse on their Kindles have similar experiences. Maybe those experiences feel the same to them. But, if you were to close your eyes and think about a cinematic life-changing event, is it more likely to be finding some treasure in a brick-and-mortar store, or pressing a few extra buttons on a handheld? The point isn’t that the latter is less valid, the point is that it feels less valid in that it makes for a much worse anecdote.

Like I said, there are obviously practical benefits to a device like Amazon’s Kindle. I can’t drag my whole goddamn library around with me, obviously. As far as tools go, Kindles could one day become the intellectual swiss army knife. But, to someone like me with a love of all things past (if you picture Owen Wilson’s character in Midnight in Paris, you won’t be too far off), the experience can never compare. I believe it’s this type of implicit trade-off that deserves our reflection.

I want to leave you with some wise words, courtesy of Spencer Tracy in Inherit the Wind:

“Gentlemen, progress has never been a bargain. You’ve got to pay for it. Sometimes I think there’s a man behind a counter who says, “All right, you can have a telephone; but you’ll have to give up privacy, the charm of distance. Madam, you may vote; but at a price; you lose the right to retreat behind a powder-puff or a petticoat. Mister, you may conquer the air; but the birds will lose their wonder, and the clouds will smell of gasoline!”

As we march on toward greater progress, let’s try and keep an eye towards what we’re giving up in trade. It may be that one day we develop buyer’s remorse.

Live like you’re carving it in stone.

Max may not be up on the newest technology, but he sure does love reading comments. Leave one below and he’ll even respond. In addition, requests/suggestions for new articles, suggestions to name his typewriter, or requests for him to let you touch his typewriter (that’s not a euphemism) may be sent to Max.Z.Warren@gmail.com

Fight Back Florida is a network of progressive students, labor activists, and workers throughout Florida that fight for accessible education and the rights of working families.

In the spring of 2011, the governor of Florida, Rick Scott, unleashed his assault against Floridians with a host of laws ranging from tuition increases for college students to pay decreases for teachers. An affordable college education would be a thing of the past: Florida students would be saddled with increasingly high student loans as they pay 15 percent more per year in Scott’s tuition increases, while at the same time slashing Bright Futures scholarships. Governor Scott went after all state employees next, proposing that they pay 3 percent of their current salary into the Florida Retirement System as a forced “contribution,” while also weakening their labor unions through bills designed to cripple their ability to function and negotiate with employers.

The people of Wisconsin were facing similar legislation affecting teachers, students and the rights of union members. In Madison, Wisconsin, over 100,000 protesters occupied the capital building opposing laws very similar to the ones brought to Florida.

It was the ongoing sit-ins and protests in Wisconsin that really jolted several organizers in Florida to “bring Wisconsin to Florida.” The very night that much of the de-unionizing and budget cut legislation was passed in Wisconsin, five student and labor organizers from Tampa, Tallahassee and Gainesville decided to build a network to connect people from all over Florida willing to fight back against the right-wing assault. Fight Back Florida was born that night, in early March.

In order to be an effective resistance, we needed to unite all the labor and student groups around the state. Within a week, groups such as Students for a Democratic Society, the Florida AFL-CIO, and central labor councils all over Florida signed on to the call for a statewide demonstration. Floridians statewide planned and networked for the big event. There was an excitement in the air that had not been felt in some time. It seemed as though people felt they were finally a part of something that would give the people of Florida their state back from those who refrain from taxing the rich while asking the average citizen to sacrifice.

Finally, on March 25, Floridians from all walks of life rallied in over 10 cities around the state of Florida to say no to union busting, no to anti-worker bills, and no to attacks on affordable education. They demanded that tuition stay low so that education could be accessible for all and that unions continue to be allowed to fight and negotiate for their members.

One of the largest rallies in the state was held here in Gainesville. Hundreds took to the streets and marched to city hall, proclaiming Gainesville a “Labor Sanctuary.”

These rallies, alongside an unprecedented unity among all the labor unions of Florida, led to the defeat of most of the proposed legislation. From this success, we realized the need to maintain the network we created not only to fight back against future bills, but also to create an organization that could create a sense of activism both within the student and labor movements.

We set up permanent groups in many cities around Florida to continue to meet and plan. This came to a head during the state wide Fight Back Florida Conference in Orlando on Nov. 5. Over 50 student and labor activists from over seven cities came together to develop a plan for the upcoming year. The strategy was to expose the budget cuts, tuition hikes, and anti-worker legislation for what they really were – attacks on the working majority of Floridians by powerful right-wing politicians.

This Jan. 21, Fight Back Florida is gearing up to lead the struggle against the government’s plans to place the burden of the state economic crisis onto the backs of the people with a multi-city, coordinated rally. Then, uniting activists from all over the state, Fight Back Florida will continue to give average Floridians a voice against Rick Scott and the corporate interests he represents by mobilizing to Tallahassee for a day of action on Feb. 25. Fight Back Florida plans to host another statewide conference at the end of May to plan for the 2012 Republican National Convention in Tampa on Dec. 6.

Fight Back Florida was created less then a year ago to confront anti-worker and anti-student legislation. We have already helped gain meaningful wins, but the fight back continues.

For more information, check out Fight Back Florida’s website.

The Monthly Manifesto is a podium for local organizations to tell Gainesville what they’re about. Submissions and inquiries should be sent to editors@thefineprintuf.org with the subject “Monthly Manifesto.”

At-large 1 City Commissioner

Our current at-large 1 City Commissioner is Jeanna Mastrodicasa who has reached the end of her service after two consecutive three-year terms. Mastrodicasa was first elected in 2006 and then reelected in 2009. Her legacy includes adding “gender identity” to a list of classes of people protected from discrimination — a part of a lawsuit that unilaterally changed city retiree health benefits in 2008. She’s also been known as a staunch supporter of the biomass plant. These are the candidates that are up for her spot as the at-large City Commissioner:

Richard Selwach
“Diamond Rick” Selwach has run for local office more times than Pat Fitzpatrick has been thrown out of city hall. Selwach is a local pawn shop owner, something he makes sure to announce at every opportunity, no matter how awkward. Selwach has often referred to unions as a communist plot. He is against the homeless one-stop center and the biomass plant.

Mark Venzke
“Taxi Cab Mark” is a taxi cab driver that got into the Gainesville political scene by advocating for keeping the 130 meal limit at St. Francis House in place even though he frequently uses their services. Currently, Venzke is advocating for limiting the ability of Occupy Gainesville to stay at Bo Diddley Community Plaza.

Nathan Skop
This man is the reason conspiracy theory buff Harold Saive dropped out of the race. Skop has recently developed a strong anti-biomass stance; which is odd because he was on the board that approved the biomass plant.

Dejeon Cain
Cain is a newcomer to the Gainesville political scene. He was on the Black on Black crime task force and is currently a security guard at Shands and a minister for Anointing Truth Ministries. Cain’s platform includes allowing bars to have a soft close (doors open until 4am but no alcohol past 2am) and expanding S.N.A.P to apartment complexes on Archer Road.

James Ingle
Ingle is a union electrician and activist that ran in last year’s Gainesville District 2 race. Ingle’s platform includes a local hiring preference to encourage investment in the local economy and a renter’s bill of rights. Ingle has been seen protesting with Gator Student Alliance against tuition increases and with the Graduate Assistants United for a fair contract.

Donna Lutz
Lutz is a real estate agent who is currently serving on the Community Agency Partnership Program for Alachua County. Although a registered Republican, Lutz stresses that this is a non-partisan race and the need to eliminate labels that parties bring about. Lutz was once a leader in her flight attendants union and advocates middle class politics. Lutz has purposefully left her platform vague and instead focuses attention on the dismal voter turnout for city elections.

Darlene Pifalo
Pifalo is a real estate agent, avid cat lover, member of the Gainesville Chamber of Commerce, and describes herself as “very conservative.” Pifalo’s platform includes increasing private property rights in Gainesville and is very critical of the biomass plant, as it will increase the financial burden on businesses and lead to layoffs.

Lauren Poe
Poe is the former District 2 city commissioner that lost his seat last year to Todd Chase. Poe is a blue dog Democrat who Mastrodicasa has endorsed saying that he is the “biggest fiscal conservative I have served with.” A moderate on most issues, Poe has been criticized for his support of the 130 meal limit restriction on serving food to the homeless. He’s also been criticized for voting for the 2008 unlawful change in city worker retiree health benefits without going through the required bargaining stage with city employee unions.

District 1 City Commissioner

Our current District 1 Commissioner is Scherwin Henry. Henry was first elected in 2006 and then re-elected in 2009. His legacy includes repealing the 130 meal limit at St. Francis House and the redevelopment of the Depot Avenue corridor. These are the candidates that are up for his spot as the District 1 Commissioner:

Armando Grundy
Grundy is a veteran paratrooper for the Army who has held numerous non-elected seats, including the Alachua County Charter Review Commission and the Alachua County Veterans Advisory Board. Current District 1 Commissioner Scherwin Henry has endorsed Grundy saying that “he is duly qualified for the position.” Grundy’s platform includes renaming the downtown bus station to Rosa Parks and expanding RTS service in East Gainesville.

Yvonne Hinson-Rawls
Hinson-Rawls is a retired elementary school principal, on the Gainesville Housing Authority Board of Commissioners, and an active member of the Mt. Pleasant United Methodist Church. Hinson-Rawls’ platform includes creating and expanding youth programs as deterrents to crime and extensions of the school day.

Ray Washington
Washington is a former Gainesville Sun reporter, an attorney and a major figure in the anti-biomass movement. Washington registered to run for District 1 very close to the deadline only after he could not persuade any of the other two candidates into taking an anti-biomass stance. Washington’s platform includes increasing government transparency and citizen input at city hall.

Remember to vote on Jan. 31.

The last day to register to vote in this election is Jan. 3. You can register online or at various locations around town. Go to elections.alachua.fl.us to register online or to see a list of locations where you can register in person.

All illustrations by Susie Bijan.

yello/blu VI

my name is travis fletcher epes. above is a tea flea, playing a broken piano.

t f epes doesn’t have quite the same ring as t s eliot. so, i tried a more experimental approach to signature with this abbreviation.

yello/blu tend to hibernate frequently, but they’ll be making regular appearances online and in our glorious paper

yello/blu V

this week’s comic originally appeared in The Fine Print’s Fall 2011 issue. 

yello/blu tend to hibernate frequently, but they’ll be making regular appearances online and in our glorious paper

In his weekly blog series The Last Generation—really more of a highly flirtatious conversation, littered with innuendo—Max Warren discusses matters of general interest to our generation, frequently quotes things, and spills out the addled contents of a deviant mind.

I come from a truly horrible small town that we’ll call Zion, and tonight, as my mind wanders, it’s the specter haunting my home. Sitting here at my desk, with a Louis C.K. monologue in the background and a gin in reach, I can see it clear as day.

Zion is the kind of small town that too many of us Last Generation kids never escape. Community college and the food-service-industry greedily devour a lot of the town’s youth, ODs get a few more—and then you have the car crashes and occasional suicides to worry about. It’s a bad place, the kind that has a wicked intelligence all its own. And it doesn’t abide deserters. I truly believe that when I go back to Zion for my high school reunion, I’ll be lucky not have a tree fall on my car or to knock up some girl through a Virgin Birth.

But enough of my misty-eyed nostalgia. It occurred to me that a substantial portion of my readership probably comes from a similar version of hell. These blemishes pock-mark America all over. You all know the story; it’s all Americana and bullshit (as covered in my previous column), the suburban wasteland where the houses all look the same and something sinister behind the superficial veneer leads to Xanex-ed adults and disaffected youth. If you’re not from the place, you certainly have friends who are.

Let me be perfectly frank about one thing—I’m thankful to have escaped. I don’t think it was my doing. I chalk it up mainly to good fortune and I know a hundred souls, contemporaries and comrades-in-arms, who didn’t make it out. This isn’t some statement of superiority. I could easily still be there and so could you. But this isn’t an exhortation for Plato to go back into the Cave either. Personally, I can only stomach two trips home a year.

But while I sit here, pondering the place where I grew up, images running through my mind like a montage, it seems important to realize something—if I hadn’t come from there, I certainly wouldn’t be who I am today. Comedian Patton Oswalt comes from a similar place called Sterling, Virginia, and he manages to express the benefits better than your humble writer ever could. Patton is thankful to have come from there because it meant he got to take the Test of the Small Town. You pass it when you say, “I’m leaving this place before I kill myself and everyone around me.” But if you say, “I’m going to get a job at 7-11 and fill my truck up for free!” then you just failed the Test—thanks for coming out.

It’s a striking concept and well-worth considering. As loyal readers, I’m going to assume that you all are, either willingly or else on some deeper level, a part of this Last Generation—the one that’s going to bring about our renaissance. And I think that, as members of our odd Foreign Legion, we all passed that test. And, for the record, I don’t care if you’re still stuck in your wretched hometown or not—it’s the desire to escape, at least intellectually and at best physically—that matters. If that desire burns inside you, and you play carefully and get the necessary bit of luck (without which I’d still be in Zion), then you’ll get right the hell out of there. Onward and upward.

Chuck Palahniuk, in the fantastic novel Rant, describes the places well:

Despite the dreary scenery, it’s all very sexual, these towns. It’s only the individual who attains an early beauty and sexuality who becomes trapped here. The young men and women who acquire perfect breasts and muscles before they know how best to use that power, they end up pregnant and mired so close to home. This cycle concentrates the best genetics in places you’d never imagine….Little nests of wildly attractive idiots who give birth and survive into a long, ugly adulthood. Venuses and Apollos. Small-town gods and goddesses.

His take is harsher on those that stay behind than mine would be, but I think that’s only because I understand that an escape plan takes time to work out—you only get one shot at breaking out of Shawshank and you don’t want to be hasty. One failed attempt and the Town will smell blood. After that, it’s going to keep a much tighter grasp.

As I said, I believe that all readers of these words will make it out of their All-American Hells if they want to and if they haven’t already. But that’s only half the battle and there’s another obstacle ahead: we can’t get sucked back in.

We are currently living in a time where it’s become the norm—far more than ever before—for young adults to move back home after college or graduate school. The reasons are myriad; delayed adulthood, the horrible economy and, really, the world just being such a goddamn lonely place all play a part. And I won’t criticize the decision to do so. But what I will say is this: once we’ve made it out, we have to remember that we don’t belong there anymore. We have to make sure that a visit or a brief recuperation is not the same as a surrender. I think it’s vital that we remember—the past is past for a reason.

Don’t get pregnant and don’t get addicted to pills.

Max may have made a few enemies with this post, particularly among John Cougar Mellencamp fans. He invites friends to use the comment section to praise him and enemies to use it to insult him and his hopes and dreams. He also accepts hate-mail, column-topic ideas and requests for prescription medication at Max.Z.Warren@gmail.com

Hey! Can’t get enough Max Warren madness? Now you can subscribe to his Twitter @MaxWarren3 for updates on blog posts and a whole bunch of late-night drunken quotes and song lyrics.

yello/blu IV

ever wonder if you could get in trouble for something you did in another person’s dream? like, imagine (in your dream) that your significant other starts spouting anti-semetic slurs while you stroll down a rainbow shore, or say your genuinely kind employer suddenly approaches you (in your dream) with unwelcome advances. would, or could you look at that person the same way as you did the day before?  to what extent does our unconscious reveal, in dreams, information or observations that would otherwise go unnoticed?

ANSWER: i should sleep more…

yello/blu tend to hibernate frequently, but they’ll be making regular appearances online and in our glorious paper

In his weekly blog series The Last Generation—really more of a highly flirtatious conversation, littered with innuendo—Max Warren discusses matters of general interest to our generation, frequently quotes things, and spills out the addled contents of a deviant mind.

When I was younger, I had a problem with mirrors. I would go out of my way to avoid them, always being sure to keep the medicine cabinet open. The thing of it was, if I looked into one long enough, it really didn’t seem like I was looking at myself anymore. It’s fascinating to me how something as simple as a reflection—really the most accurate portrayal of what you are—can seem so separate.

This got me thinking about identity and the way in which something you really should recognize can appear so alien. Then, because it’s what I do, this got me thinking about the question of identity for this Last Generation of ours.

I recently had an interesting conversation with my friend Rose (a better journalist than I) and she really framed the issue brilliantly:

“I’ve been thinking about us, about our generation, about who we are,” she said. “You call us the ‘last’, yet others call us makers while some dare call us emotionless. All in all, we are oft-talked about, oft-portrayed, but hugely misunderstood. That’s a problem. If we’re going to be the shining future, shouldn’t we create a coherent identity? Or maybe it could be that our lack of self is what will ultimately save us—we’re are each diverse individuals, with something different to offer and if we just accept that we can all settle into our roles peacefully and all will be good in the world.”

It’s an interesting bit of observation and it ends on an optimistic note—a good thing, too, since some have accused your humble writer of cynicism. Rose is right. We are talked about, dissected, portrayed and, without doubt, misunderstood. But I think that those flawed portrayals are part of the disease and not merely symptoms of it. Let me be clear; by disease I mean our own ennui and pallor—like that Danish Prince, we’ve become sicklie’d o’er with the pale cast of thought, too anemic to even understand who we are, much less what we should do.

This diagnosis set me asking, with appropriate urgency, why haven’t we formed a coherent identity and, what’s more, why we accept so passively our lack of one. I wonder this, despite having my own doubts as to whether it’s a common or even a positive thing for a generation to do.

I feel I’ve traced the root of this collective quarter-life crisis. I’ve decided to call it The Great Betrayal because I think it’s the most accurate name possible and, hey, what would a Max Warren column be without an over-dramatic flourish? (Answer: boring as hell.)

Essentially, the Betrayal of the Last Generation was the greatest crime since the cancellations of Firefly and Dollhouse. In our younger and more vulnerable years we were all fed a serious line of bullshit by movies, music videos and television shows. They taught us to believe in a very particular and packaged idea of American young adulthood—an idea that isn’t bearing itself out.

There’s this grand conception of American youth that we’ve all come to know well. MTV and Hollister have sold it to us on one front—where everything is, like, totally awesome—and that god-awful Catcher in the Rye has done it on another, where everyone and everything is phony, except for you because you can be sarcastic about it.

I remember when I was a kid—writing diatribes with crayons and drinking Wild Turkey from a sippy cup—thinking that when I was a teenager life was going to be one big, crazy adventure. There were going to be parties every night and fistfights over girls and, with a bit of luck, I might even race somebody around Dead Man’s Curve.

None of us were stupid and I think we all understood that obviously it wouldn’t, you know, be exactly like The O.C., but it would be of the same general flavor. There would be constant excitement and what we were supposed to want and chase and struggle for would be clear. Most of all there wouldn’t be this nagging, soul-deep doubt, this worry that I firmly believe nags most of us, that we might somehow have missed the boat.

But the truth is, like the sunrise, the city of El Ray or Boozetown, it’s all an illusion, a myth or a dream.

And so here we are, each of us in, or else fast-approaching, our 20s and learning some harsh lessons. We were raised by that big blue box to believe in the Great American Youth Experience and the Epic Romance. Now, the longer it fails to materialize, the more alone and robbed we feel. Allow me to throw a little Doctor Thompson at you (again, courtesy of The Rum Diary) to finish the point:

“I’m not sure,” he replied. “But I have a feeling that I’m following a course that somebody laid out a long time ago – and I have one hell of a lot of company.”

I looked up at the plantain tree and let him go on.

“You’re the same way,” he said. “We’re all going to the same damn places, doing the same damn things people have been doing for fifty years, and we keep waiting for something to happen.” He looked up. “You know – I’m a rebel, I took off – now where’s my reward?”

“You fool,” I said. “There is no reward and there never was.”

That just may be the case. It seems there is no reward, at least in the sense we were brought up to expect. Instead, we will have to look inward for it, and earn it the hard way, rather than just sliding into it with advancing age.

This is no tragedy. The big dream may have been pulled away, just as we reached out our hands to grasp it. The Great Betrayal may have been traumatic and demoralizing. Hell, it may even have turned us a bit cynical and a bit jaded. But I have a message for MTV and all the other purveyors of the lies and half-truths that got us here. I believe it’s better to know the truth than to believe a lie.

We’re all going to be better for the sting. And we’re going to be stronger in the broken places.

Good night, and good luck. 

Max requests that you comment freely so that the bigwigs here at TFP know that you like him. You may also send suggestions for columns, allegations decrying Max as a pinko, and all donations toward the Boozetown capital-raising-initiative to Max.Z.Warren@gmail.com.

Hey! Can’t get enough Max Warren madness? Now you can subscribe to his Twitter @MaxWarren3 for updates on blog posts and a whole bunch of late-night drunken quotes and song lyrics.

As the weather begins to cool off, I find myself spending more time baking in the warmth of my kitchen. Lately, I’ve taken the opportunity to experiment with sourdough breads.

Sourdough is a game entirely unlike bread baking with active dry yeast or a bread machine — it requires a little more time and attention. But, once you learn the basics of keeping a sourdough starter you’ll discover an infinite world of bread making.

Sourdough bread has a rich history, dating back as far as the Ancient Egyptians of 1500 BC. Until only 130 years ago, all bread was leavened with a sourdough starter.

A sourdough starter is a community of yeast in water that ferments carbohydrates to transform them into carbon dioxide and alcohol (Thus, the yeast used to leaven bread is the same for fermenting beer), and it is when the carbon dioxide bubbles expand and become trapped in the gluten network of the dough that the bread rises (the alcohol cooks out in the oven).

Sourdough breads are generally considered sourer than breads made with commercial yeast due to the acids produced in the starter. But sourdough doesn’t have to be sour and some artisan bakeries even consider the sour flavor characteristic of negligence (although I love it). The major difference between wild yeast of sourdough and the store-bought kind is purity. When you buy yeast, you know exactly what is in it and its leavening characteristics. With wild fermented sourdough cultures, you encounter a diversity of yeast microorganisms. The benefits of sourdough are extra nutrients and B-vitamins, more thoroughly fermented gluten (thus more easily digestible for you), and a flavor and leavening properties entirely unique to your region and home.

Sourdough starters are easy to create, and can last a lifetime, even being passed along through generations. A friend of mine has a sourdough starter that is 50 years old, passed from her grandmother, to mother, and finally to her. Immigrants would bring their sourdough starters with them to new lands, thus spreading different strains of sourdough cultures around the world.

Creating a sourdough starter requires only two ingredients: flour and water. I stick to fresh ground whole wheat but any kind of flour can be used. Make sure the water doesn’t smell heavily of chlorine (which could kill necessary yeast). The starch water from cooking pasta or potatoes is nutrient rich and great for the starter (cooled to room temperature).

Here’s what you do:
1. Choose a container for your starter. I started with a 16-ounce glass jar, and later upgraded to a quart-size ceramic crock. Choose what feels best to you.

2. Mix two cups each of water and flour in your container, and stir vigorously.

3. Cover the container with cheesecloth (or a porous fabric) and secure with a rubber band.

4. Store the starter in a warm place (70-80 degree F is best, but it will survive cooler climates, too) with good air circulation. For the first week, investigate the batter for bubbling around the surface, and stir daily to stimulate yeast activity. The time it takes for the starter to become active will depend on environmental factors, and the coming winter months will surely slow the process. Some bakers suggest adding a little commercial yeast to enhance fermentation. I like the method of the miners of the Klondike Gold Rush in the 1890’s who were nicknamed “sourdoughs” for hiding their starters under their jackets to keep warm.

5. Once your batter is thick and bubbly, it is ready for use. When baking, pour out what you need and save the rest to keep the sourdough going. Replenish after each use by adding 2 cups each of water and flour, and continue to feed it every few days if baking weekly. If you are not using it often, store in the refrigerator to slow yeast activity, replenishing once a week by pouring some starter out and adding fresh flour and water (ratio 1:1). Make sure to remove it from the fridge and put it somewhere warm the day before baking to reactivate the yeast.

Since establishing my sourdough starter, I have virtually stopped using commercial yeast. Some of my favorite recipes with sourdough starter are pancakes, biscuits, and fruit breads.

Chestnuts
Castanea dentata

The American Chestnut has a long history in the United States, and 100 years ago was one of the most important commercially harvested trees in the eastern US. Chestnut wood was widely used throughout Appalachia in the 1800’s for everything from furniture to railroad ties,

and the tree’s high tannin content was great for tanning leather. The nuts were also a major cash crop, and the smell of roasting chestnuts on the streets of many southeastern cities marked the coming of winter tide.

In the early 1900s, American chestnut trees suffered a major blight from an Asian bark fungus that decimated over 3 billion chestnut trees in America.

Since then, numerous groups and foundations have worked to reintroduce blight-resistant strains of American and European Chestnut trees, but it is difficult to find many of the ancient chestnut trees that used to populate Southeast America. Chestnuts are sweet and easy to harvest, and can be eaten raw or roasted. They also make a great chestnut butter and go well in salads, baked goods, soups, and more.

Around Gainesville, there are some options for chestnuts: I have seen farmers selling chestnuts at the Downtown Farmers’ Market on Wednesday afternoons, the High Springs Orchard and Bakery has a sizeable grove of chestnut trees to pick from (call at 352-222-1343 for directions and information), and the Chestnut Hill Nursery (386-462-2820) even sells a hybrid between American and Chinese Chestnuts called the Dunstan Chestnut tree that have shown healthy results.

An alternative to the chestnut is its cousin- the Florida native Chinquapin (Castanea pumila), with slightly smaller nuts that also bear the sweetness of American Chestnuts. The Chinquapin is drought resistant and grows well in sandy soils. Check out the Edible Plant Project’s website for more information on the Chinquapin and other native edibles.

Additional Resources
Check out Sandor Katz’s book, Wild Fermentation for some easy sourdough recipes. It and numerous other bread-baking resources are available at the Downtown Library, as well as online.

Local Harvester’s List
Some other native plants that are fruiting or ready to harvest now are: Pecans, Persimmons, Jamaican Sorrel, Seminole Pumpkin, Winged Sumac, Sunchoke/Jerusalem Artichoke

Illustrations by Krissy Abdullah.

In his weekly blog series The Last Generation—really more of a highly flirtatious conversation, littered with innuendo—Max Warren discusses matters of general interest to our generation, frequently quotes things, and spills out the addled contents of a deviant mind.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be young and alive. Despite what some readers felt after the last post, in which I outlined the genesis of the term “Last Generation,” my outlook is not one of cynicism, but of cautious optimism. We’ve inherited a world that, in many ways, could not be riper for us to make our mark—that is, because the world is so unrelentingly different from how it has ever been before, we’ve been given our very own tabula rasa.

The trick, then, is for us to not fuck it up.

I can only speak from personal experience—the fount from which my rather astounding worldly wisdom flows—but, with that limitation firmly in mind, I believe that I’ve stumbled across something rather interesting in my Wild Turkey-fueled theorizing. I believe that life can be divided, fairly accurately, into three phases. These can be delineated somewhat by age groupings, but I’m going to use soft estimates and explain them simply as they worked out for me. So, without further palaver, I present to you the Three Phases of Life.

I. Training Montage

For me, this was from about birth until midway through college. During this phase, we’re developing who we are as a person. Naturally, this is subject to some tweaking later, but by and large this is where we lay the large and immovable stones that will serve as our foundation.

Growing up, like everyone else, I tried on many different personalities. There was even a period with blue hair of which I’ve destroyed all evidence—though those familiar with SLC Punk may justly laugh. But despite the ongoing shell game, this was the time when certain seeds were planted that to this day continue to bear fruit.

At 16 I picked a book called This Side of Paradise off a bookshelf–completely by chance–and from that moment I knew that I wanted to be a writer and that nothing else was or would be as important to me. One day, dammit, I’d write better than Fitzgerald. I also discovered a certain political apathy in myself, other than that I was pro-choice and pro-gay-rights. I had a liking for sarcasm and, as high school and college showed, a fundamental aversion to hard work (if it didn’t involve writing), a long with an inability to take anything seriously. These are things about me that have never changed and are as intrinsically a part of my being as the devilish charm and ever-present flask. All of these foundations were firmly laid during the Training Montage.

And Montage, I think, really is the right word. Looking back, I don’t remember the entire period. Instead, it comes in flashes—moments that I didn’t even know had significance until they come to the surface, when the particular lesson they taught or idea they imparted is implicated. Then, almost like muscle-memory, it comes in a flash, and the decision is clear—it’s the only decision that can be made, because, during this first phase, it was already decided.

II. The Big Game

I believe that, after training, when we’ve gotten our bearings and learned to do our barrel rolls, comes The Big Game. This typically begins anywhere during or after college, and stretches on until we’ve settled down—as much as each of us chooses to do, whether it be committing to a career or perpetuating the race by producing of those horrid little creatures known to ruin flights and movies. The Big Game is where we take what we learned in Training, the principles that will flash into our minds at just that moment, and guide and color every important decision we make. This is the Danger Zone. It rewards careful attention, bold action and, of course, one may need to be a bit lucky.

I’m batting about .500 during my own personal Big Game so far. For example, deciding to go to law school was a misstep. It’s put me farther from what I truly want, rather than closer, and looking back is one of the very few life decisions I regret. On the other hand, I redeemed myself, at least somewhat, when I decided not to give up the dream and to plow ahead with the novel in every free instant, no matter how many sleepless nights or bouts of frustration it caused. I wouldn’t trade that torment for all the Paxil in the world and that, I think, is the point. The Big Game is what we’ve all been getting ready for, and I think the difficulty of playing it right can be expressed clearly if you’ll allow me a quotation. Clarence Darrow in Inherit the Wind puts it best:

It’s the loneliest feeling in the world. It’s like walking down an empty street, listening to your own footsteps. But all you have to do is to knock on any door and say ‘if you let me in, I’ll live the way you want me to live and I’ll think the way you want me to think.’ And all the blinds will go up and all the doors will open and you’ll never be lonely, ever again.

Therein lies the danger. It takes something burning to keep a person warm when the decision is put to them like that. But it’s in those moments that I believe it’s most vital to stay true to one’s Training Montage, because next comes…

III. Austerlitz or Waterloo

The final phase. I can only theorize on this one as I haven’t yet crossed that particular line, and so I present it to you with the caveat that it’s subject to tweaking. To me, however, it seems sound in conception, so I drop the idea and pass on.

At some point, all the big, vital, life-shaping decisions will have been made. We have one of two jobs in this phase—we either live with the consequences or we reap the rewards. If we played the Big Game in good faith and weren’t afraid and didn’t shrink from who we are, or lose sight of what we want to be, then its Valhalla for us and all the mead we can drink. If we compromised on the important decision, or learned to be ashamed, then it’s a well-deserved ignominy.

Black and white, perhaps, but I see the danger as real.

And that’s my theory, as it stands. I wrote this in order to say one thing. I truly believe that we have inherited the world and have as many advantages as it would be fair to have. We also have liabilities. And if we’re going to save this world, if we’re going to work towards something greater than the sum of its parts, then I think we all have a responsibility to tend our own gardens first.

In this column I’ve mixed humor and pathos, but now I’m in earnest. I believe that living honestly is the highest virtue. I believe that living insincerely and dishonestly is a crime. And I believe there is place at the trenches for each of our weary hands. So let’s go chase the green light and I’ll see you all at the front.

Until next week. As always, comment freely, flame me and one another, or even tell me something good. Death threats and nudie pics to Max.Z.Warren@gmail.com.

Good night, and good luck.

yello/blue III

ever dream that you’re dreaming? yello seemed caught in that loop over the last few weeks, what with those weird Rollin’ dreams. now it looks like blu’s turn for some nocturnal turbulence, and something tells me these Dream Police might give him the worse of it…

yello/blu tend to hibernate frequently, but they’ll be making regular appearances online and in our glorious paper

In his weekly blog series The Last Generation—really more of a highly flirtatious conversation, littered with innuendo—Max Warren discusses matters of general interest to our generation, frequently quotes things, and spills out the addled contents of a deviant mind.

Hello, Gainesville.

My name is Max Warren. As a former Gator (class of ’10 and, of course, an English major) currently self-exiled to the frigid north at Harvard Law, I’ll be your guide—or a whimsical psychopomp, perhaps — on this blog journey we’re about to begin. This blog will update weekly, so I implore you to keep coming back because, if you don’t, I may actually have to go and study law.

So, why title this thing of ours The Last Generation? Well, I assume most of you are passingly familiar with The Lost Generation, but for anyone who wants a refresher, I’ll try to break it down for you old-school without sounding like a 20th Century American Lit professor.

The phrase comes from something crazy old Gertrude “Rose is a rose is a rose” Stein said to Ernest Hemingway, describing his rough-and-tumble band of hard-drinking writers and artists in 1920s Paris. They lacked direction, in a very pressing sense, and pounded back the highballs and the absinthe to make up for it. They also gave us Gatsby, The Sun Also Rises, Picasso’s oeuvre and lots more. They had lived through the horror of WWI. They bore witness to the birth of mechanized war — many firsthand. The world was changing fast around them and the old ideals of honor and bravery didn’t hold their place in this colder, more modern world. What good was a Washington or a Wellington in the face of machine gun fire? They were a generation who had spent years in trenches, waiting to be ordered over the top for a cause they barely understood. Alienation was the hallmark of the times.

And now to us, The Last Generation. I think we share more in common with those forebears than my brilliant play on the name. I think, in the same sense, we lack direction. The world is changing again, and doing it fast. And if we’re not going to be ordered out of the trenches, to be gunned down in No Man’s Land, then at the very least we live under threat as well—more metaphysical, perhaps, but just as unrelenting. The disconnect and the alienation within this colder, more modern world of ours, if not understood, if not used as a catalyst for renaissance, could destroy whatever potential we have to create beautiful things and build a better world.

I believe we occupy what will be a very special place in our cultural history. Those just a bit older than us still don’t understand how all of this new, world-shrinking technology works, and those just a bit younger than us don’t remember a time before it — a time when, in order to hang out with a friend you had to actually leave your house — a time, dare I say it, before Angry Birds. And so that makes us possibly the last chance—and it’s something to be hopeful about, rather than sad about. Because I think we have what it would take to rise to the occasion, if we play it right. And I think we’re the last chance, the last generation that can bring about an intellectual, creative renaissance before we’re all swallowed under. Après nous, le déluge!

There is, as I said, a danger, and it can be seen with the right kind of eyes. We risk losing both the interest in the world around us and the soul with which to make it better. Let me say, before I explain further, that it’s not technology that I’m against (as I compose a blog on my MacBook) and it’s not even technology that I intend to write about. But, I think that the way we use our newest toys is a symptom of this culture and worth considering.

The other day, I saw a seven-year-old girl texting in a way that I can only describe as aggressive—she played that smartphone like a virtuoso. Now please, tell me, who is a 7-year-old texting and–if you can answer that–what can she possibly be texting about? “Hey! Let’s play later!” Is that really worth a texting plan?

Or, more chillingly, there was this conversation I overheard between two girls outside of Library West during my last trip to the homeland.

Girl 1: Well, what do you think? How’re things going with him?

Girl 2: I’m not sure. I mean, I know his parents really like his ex but…you know…they were never Facebook official, so it doesn’t really count.

Honest to God, has it come to this? We all live plugged into our ear-buds and glued to our iPhones and some of that’s fine – the great wonders of technology and all that. But we’ve come to a point where it functions as a barrier between the outside world and ourselves — a time where a relationship obviously had no substance if it wasn’t Facebook official. I’ll bet any taker my first-edition This Side of Paradise that this 7-year-old will never, of her own volition, make a lasting piece of art, read a great book or contribute something of value to the human soul.

This is not a Call to Arms. This is not a neo-Luddite, Tyler Durden rant. And this is not boy-meets-girl and the rest is history, nor murder mystery, nor comeback story. It’s more like a flaming Viking ship, where we all have to get our jollies in before we die. Or maybe it’s a lone voice, echoing on an empty battlefield, with just one bullet in the gun. Maybe it’s me typing on my computer. Whatever. In this first entry, anyway, I just wanted to extend a greeting to all you wonderful readers out there and lay out the barest of bones regarding what the hell I intend to talk about.

I’m going to sign off now because I’m sure your attention span is starting to get depleted (I know mine is) but let me leave you with one little gem. This is brought to you courtesy of Hunter S. Thompson’s The Rum Diary. (Film-based-on-the-book is in theaters now. Go see it.)

Like most of the others, I was a seeker, a mover, a malcontent, and at times a stupid hell-raiser. I was never idle long enough to do much thinking, but I felt somehow that my instincts were right. I shared a vagrant optimism that some of us were making real progress, that we had taken an honest road, and that the best of us would inevitably make it over the top.

At the same time, I shared a dark suspicion that the life we were leading was a lost cause, that we were all actors, kidding ourselves along on a senseless odyssey. It was the tension between these two poles—a restless idealism on one hand and a sense of impending doom on the other—that kept me going.

Words to consider, at the very least. And now I’m off. I invite any who have thoughts, criticisms or even compliments to utilize the comment section. Particularly vicious hate mail, offers to buy the writer a drink, or requests for specific topics can be sent to Max.Z.Warren@gmail.com.

Here’s looking at you, kids.

Last month, we promised you weekly Paper Cuts, our quick updates and occasional commentary on headlines that matter. We’ll have to apologize for now and change “weekly” to “whenever we have time.” If you think we’re missing something important, feel free to email us.

Not My Representative
On Sept. 15, Rep. Cliff Stearns (R-Fla.) of Ocala, the chair of the House Oversight and Investigations Subcommittee, drew national attention when he challenged Planned Parenthood once again on its spending. Stearns launched an investigation into Planned Parenthood’s financial records, requesting documents that go back 12 years from locations across the country. Stearns has also been making headlines with his new investigation into federal loans totaling $535 million made to Solyndra, a failed California-based solar panel manufacturer. Stearns was quoted as saying the U.S. can’t compete with China to make solar panels and wind turbines. When called out directly by President Obama on this statement, Stearns clarified he was referring to cheap labor. Read more >>

Florida Organic Growers vs. Monsanto
Since March, organic farmers across the country have been at legal war with Monsanto, the world’s leading producer of genetically altered seeds (and possibly the world’s leading producer of public outrage). The conflict emerges when pollen from modified crops produced by Monsanto gets carried by the wind and genetically contaminates organic farms. Plaintiffs claim Monsanto has sued over 100 farmers for patent infringement, even though their crops had been unwillingly contaminated. In July, Florida Organic Growers joined the fight. Read more >>

Bystander Intervention
This past April, Vice President Joe Biden, who wrote and helped pass into law the Violence Against Women Act in 1994, spoke at the University of New Hampshire to promote a new initiative set forth by the Obama administration. A 19-page “policy guidance” was sent by the Department of Education’s Office of Civil Rights to all school districts, colleges and universities that receive federal funding. The letter outlines and reinforces current requirements for handling sexual violence under Title IX, which was originally designed to protect students against sexual discrimination, including sexual harassment and assault. Read more >>

Photo (above) courtesy of Nationaal Archief via Flickr Commons

Many, including Rep. Henry Waxman (D-CA), the senior Democrat of the Energy and Commerce Committee, and Rep. Diana DeGette (D-CO), the ranking member of Stearns’ subcommittee, accuse Stearns of having no “predicate that would justify a sweeping and invasive request to Planned Parenthood [who had] not identified any pattern of misuse of federal funds, illegal activity or other abuse that would justify a broad and invasive congressional investigation.” However, Stearns is still hung up on the now infamous “other money” riddle.

“Although Planned Parenthood is barred from using federal funds to perform abortions, these funds are fungible and allow the group to use funds from other sources ostensibly for abortions,” Stearns said in a statement.

Stearns is not only looking out for the well-being of federal money already spent but also for money in the future.

“With a national debt exceeding $14 trillion, funding of Planned Parenthood should be evaluated with other expenditures to reduce the deficit,” Stearns added.

In Planned Parenthood’s fiscal year of 2007-2008, according to their annual report, they received $363.2 million in government grants, which represents about a third of Planned Parenthood’s annual income.

Stearns has also been making headlines with his new investigation into federal loans totaling $535 million made to Solyndra, a failed California-based solar panel manufacturer. This September they filed for bankruptcy and laid off 1,100 workers.

Stearns was quoted as saying the U.S. can’t compete with China to make solar panels and wind turbines. When called out directly by President Obama on this statement, Stearns clarified he was referring to cheap labor.

“We should invest in and provide incentives to companies that can exploit our competitive advantage in technology and innovation [...] and not subsidize industries when these other nations have cheaper labor, no environmental or safety standards, less regulation and easy access to raw materials,” Stearns said.

Why waste U.S. money on American workers and companies that actually manufacture a product in the U.S. when it can be done more cheaply in China by exploited underpaid workers in unregulated conditions? What we should really be investing in is developing new technology.

Technology research and development definitely deserve federal funding, especially when it’s for health care for mothers and children, Head Start day care, public education and investing in American companies and laborers. Who these technologists will be in the future, what with a bunch of sick, under-supervised and under-educated children running around these days, is still unknown.

Stearns represents Florida’s Sixth Congressional District, which include parts of Gainesville and Ocala.

If you happen to be a small farmer, and Monsanto decides to take you to court, you can reasonably compare the result to a dragonfly (that’s you) splattered against the windshield of a truck (that’s Monsanto), and you’ll probably lose your farm. Then again, if an entire swarm of dragonflies descended on the truck at once, they may accomplish something.

In July, Florida Organic Growers, a Gainesville-based nonprofit established in 1987 to promote sustainable agriculture, joined a coalition of family farmers, seed companies, and environmental organizations representing hundreds of thousands of individuals in a lawsuit against Monsanto, led by the Organic Seed Growers and Trade Association.

Shortly after the lawsuit began, Monsanto issued a statement saying they wouldn’t assert their patents against farmers who suffer “trace” amounts of transgenic contamination, but the promise wasn’t legally binding, and the plaintiffs aren’t convinced. And that’s all they want—a legally binding promise that Monsanto will end its predatory use of patent enforcement to put smaller competitors out of business.

In other news, a June 2011 ABC News poll reveals that 93 percent of Americans think genetically modified foods should be labelled and that 57 percent of Americans would use those labels strictly for the purpose of avoiding them.

Not everyone shares the same sentiment, though. The Center for Consumer Freedom prefers the term “genetically improved” and criticizes organic farmers for using “junk science” to market their products to a wealthy minority of suburban “elitists.” It should be noted that the Center for Consumer Freedom is a front group for Berman and Company, a public relations firm for tobacco companies, fast food restaurants, factory farms, and—last but not least—Monsanto.

Update (1/18/11): For an in-depth story on the topic, check out Where the GMOs Grow by Lily Wan.

Twenty percent of all female college students will experience sexual assault. That’s one in five. The national average for all women is one in six. The percentage for college males is 6 percent.

Title IX works in conjunction with the Jeanne Clery Act of 1990, which requires schools to report three years worth of campus crime every Oct. 1 as well as certain security policies, including sexual assault policies.

UNH, where Biden made his speech, has been nationally recognized as having one of the most progressive rape awareness and prevention programs in the country. UNH has two initiatives that have served as models for other colleges: Know Your Power and Bringing in the Bystander.

Know Your Power is a social marketing campaign encouraging students to intervene when they witness domestic violence or sexual assault. Bringing in the Bystander is an education and awareness program that teaches students through interactive discussion and learning exercises that everyone has a role in ending violence against women.

Beginning January, STRIVE, UF’s rape awareness program, plans to expand into a model based on UNH’s Bringing in the Bystander program.

Bringing in the Bystander is a “90-minute, face-to-face educational program [...] of structured programming, interactive presentations and discussions, that teaches not only statistics, but skills for helping, too,” said Jennifer Stuart, the coordinator of STRIVE.

“It’s a more direct effort to get out the education and prevention,” said Ron Del Moro, a peer educator.

Look for the upcoming full-length article in the Winter issue of The Fine Print.

(Above) On Friday nights before home games, the spirit of “United Downtown” casts a shadow over local businesses. Illustration by Susie Bijan.

Indiegainesville is a labor of love by locals (and for locals) to protect the interests of independent businesses in Gainesville. We are a collective of locally owned businesses that came together over the summer to celebrate Gainesville’s unique indie spirit and to ensure that the voices of local businesses would be heard in public forums and receive equal consideration. Prior to indiegainesville’s conception, we couldn’t shake the feeling that our voices were drowned out by the interests of national chains and property owners.

Our incentive to organize came in July when the City Commission proposed to install parking meters downtown and eliminate free parking for our customers. No one from the city consulted us about their decision. They had, apparently, consulted the Gainesville Downtown Owners and Tenants Association, which was not working with us at the time. We petitioned and successfully convinced the commissioners not to install parking meters downtown. The tenants association eventually changed its mind about the issue and joined us in the fight for free parking.

Another event that prompted us to organize was a series of pep rallies collectively known as United Downtown, sponsored by United Way and planned by the tenants association. To sum it up, every Friday night before a home football game, the central region of downtown gets closed off to make room for street parties, which involve corporate beer, food, gator gear and live music at Bo Diddley Plaza.

We weren’t against the event in theory, but we were against the poor planning and lack of notification. Many small business owners learned about United Downtown only two weeks before the first event. Preparation for United Downtown involved blocking off the streets around us early in the day, limiting access for customers. On United Downtown Fridays, local businesses suffered losses ranging from 20 to 50 percent of their usual income.

And who is on the streets of United Downtown? National chains, including Macy’s, Belk and Zaxby’s. Our latest walk through United Downtown on Sept. 30 showcased a sparse variety of vendors, the majority of which were not independent or local businesses. When the tenants association planned the United Downtown event, there was little outreach to the small business community, and what outreach did occur took the form of threats. More than one person was told something along the lines of, “If you don’t support United Downtown, we’ll put you out of business.” We were promised we would make more money and our skepticism was ignored.

We differ from the tenants association in that membership to indiegainesville is free, and members of independent businesses from all over Gainesville are encouraged to join.

We’re working on a few projects that will have a positive impact on Gainesville, including a bike rack installation project, which would involve the placement of bike racks, welded by local artists out of recycled bikes, in various locations downtown and, eventually, throughout the community. We hope that the new bike racks will increase bicycle traffic while highlighting local artists and the independent bike shops that sponsor them. We’re also talking to the City about making downtown more inviting by keeping it better lit at night, among other ideas.

When you enter a locally owned, independent store, you see a selection of products based on the needs of your community. You get to influence the buyer, who’s usually the local business owner, rather than having the buyer push their products on you. As feminist Carol Hanisch wrote, “the personal is political.” Where we choose to shop is a ballot we cast. Our money is our weapon. The products we purchase are votes of confidence in the people who make and sell them. We support local jobs, progressive labor policies and living wages for all workers, and we want to see that support reflected in our purchases, no matter how small.

The Monthly Manifesto is a podium for local organizations to tell Gainesville what they’re about. Submissions and inquiries should be sent to editors@thefineprintuf.org with the subject “Monthly Manifesto.”

yello/blu I

i did not draw the comic you see above.

those are not my characters, and none of my own artistic effort was exerted in the making of this strip. in all honesty, it’s a photo copy of some doodle i found inside a backpack i lifted off this kid leaving the playground.

i’m sure you could guess all that though. you’re probably curious as to why such a cheery ghost would want to befriend a strange, sentient lightbulb. perhaps young blu is afraid of the dark…while ole yello’s an asshole…or maybe they’re just cartoons…

i don’t know. hopefully, someone’ll figure it out.

yello/blu tend to hibernate frequently, but they’ll be making regular appearances online and in our glorious paper

The Fine Print is back and ready for action. Stay tuned for weekly installments of Paper Cuts, our quick updates and occasional commentary on headlines that matter. If you think we’re missing something important, feel free to email us. Here are some developments you may have missed over summer.

Block tuition gets the axe.
If you’re new to UF, “block tuition” is the idea of charging students a minimum tuition fee equivalent to the value of 15 credit hours each semester, even if they’re signed up for less than fifteen credits. The policy was proposed by the administration last year as a way to pressure students into signing up for more classes each semester, thereby increasing UF’s four-year graduation rates. Students with part-time and full-time jobs would have had to pay about $500 extra for classes they simply didn’t have time to take. On a Sept. 6 Board of Trustees meeting, UF Provost Joe Glover said block tuition is no longer necessary, referring to a recent spike in four-year graduation rates. UF’s administration, therefore, decided to “withdraw the proposal indefinitely.” Not that widespread student opposition had anything to do with it.

Voting on the 15 percent tuition increase.
On August 30, members of Students for a Democratic Society turned in more than 1200 signatures to get a new question on the ballot for the next round of student elections, which will be held on Sept. 27 and 28. The question reads, “Do you support repealing the 15 percent tuition increase at the University of Florida?”

Former tobacco executive joins UF’s Board of Trustees.
In June, the Florida Board of Governors added a new member to UF’s Board of Trustees: Susan Cameron (previously known as Susan Ivey), the former CEO of Reynolds American, the parent company of R.J. Reynolds and the second largest tobacco company in the United States. The Gainesville Sun mentioned that UF’s Board of Trustees had “gone through a major turnover” after Governor Rick Scott appointed Atlanta health care executive W. Michael Heekin, Naples health care executive Alan M. Levine, and Florida Power and Light senior attorney Juliet M. Roulhac. What’s interesting about Cameron’s past, besides the merchant-of-death concerns brought forth by anti-smoking advocates, is the controversy over her company’s questionable treatment of farm workers.

UPD Officer Keith Smith ends his controversial career.
University of Florida Police Department (UPD) Officer Keith Smith was fired on Sept. 1 after pulling over a reckless driver and threatening to shoot him. If the name “Keith Smith” doesn’t ring a bell, he’s the same officer that got reprimanded in 2008 when he accompanied intoxicated Gainesville Police Department (GPD) officers in an incident that involved throwing eggs at “suspected drug dealers and prostitutes” in a poor black neighborhood. This would contribute later to accusations of racism among student protestors and community members, but the facts in this case were questionable. Two years later, he shot a physically handicapped black graduate student in the face, resulting in a life-threatening injury, a tidal wave of student protests, and a soon-to-be-released documentary. Smith no longer works for the UPD, but his termination had nothing to do with the shooting, according to UPD Chief Linda Stump. Here are the details.

No evidence for cancer clusters at the Superfund site?
To make a long story short, residents of the Stephen Foster Neighborhood in northwest Gainesville have been living in fear for decades due to the presence of a heavily polluted 90-acre region known as the Cabot/Koppers Superfund site. The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) released their Record of Decision, which details their long-term plans to remedy the site, on Feb. 2. In June, The Gainesville Sun reported, “There is no evidence to suggest neighbors of the Cabot-Koppers Superfund site in Gainesville are at an increased risk of developing cancer, according to a Florida Department of Health analysis released Friday… The Stephen Foster Neighborhood Cancer Review compared numbers of cancer cases in that neighborhood’s census tract with the rest of the state between 1981 and 2000.” In the same article, Anthony Dennis of the Florida Department of Health acknowledged that the study had limitations. On July 21, Anne Lowry, a former Hospital Director of Nursing and Director of Investigational Drug studies, wrote an unpublished letter to the editors The Gainesville Sun, calling the study “junk science” and criticizing the Sun for not being critical enough. “Proper and valid health studies take years,” she says. “They require thousands of people to be studied, tracking back over many generations, and must be designed and fully completed by scientists.”

Florida’s springs are not safe from budget cuts.
As originally reported by Emily Morrow for The Alligator: “On June 1, the Florida Department of Environmental Protection announced the end of all funding for the Florida Springs Initiative and the Springs Basin Working Groups, organizations dedicated to restoring and protecting Florida’s springs. ‘It’s just a real hard blow,’ said Bob Knight, coordinator of the Wakulla Springs working group. ‘We’re seeing the springs degrading, and then we hear the state no longer values them enough to fund their restoration.’”

Protecting manatees from speedboats is “against the Bible.”
Yes, you heard that right. In July, a Florida Tea Party group announced its intentions to fight restrictions on boating in Kings Bay that have been proposed by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. “We cannot elevate nature above people,” said Edna Mattos, 63, leader of the Citrus County Tea Party Patriots, in an interview with the St. Petersburg Times. “That’s against the Bible and the Bill of Rights.” Mother Jones added the following context in a blog post by Kate Sheppard: “Areas of Kings Bay, which is in Citrus County, have been designated as a federal wildlife refuge since 1980… The number of manatees in the bay has increased from 100 when the protections were put in place to more than 550 today. They are a major tourist draw to the area, but there has been an uptick in manatee deaths from boating accidents in the past ten years.” Paranoid Tea Party members have suggested that efforts to protect endangered manatees may have sinister ties to Agenda 21, an 18-year-old United Nations plan concerning sustainable development.

The Gainesville Sun reported on July 3 that anti-smoking and public health advocates—like Dr. Scott Tomar, a professor of community dentistry and behavioral sciences at UF—are not pleased with Cameron’s new position. “It’s certainly not the model of business ethics that I think UF should be promoting,” he said.

What’s really interesting about Cameron’s past, which The Gainesville Sun only mentions briefly, is the controversy over her company’s treatment of farm workers. In 2009, two-dozen protesters, including students from UF and the University of Central Florida, rallied outside the Hilton UF Conference Center during a UF Foundation board meeting. Their goal was to bring attention to the treatment of tobacco workers in the fields of North Carolina. As reported by The Alligator:

By demonstrating in front of the board meeting’s venue, the protesters said they hoped to show Ivey that farm workers’ issues are important… Although Ivey wasn’t in attendance at the meeting, the students handed out informational fliers to the board, including UF President Bernie Machen, who told them he would make sure Ivey got a flier.

Two years earlier, more than 300 farm workers, trade unionists, religious leaders, and students marched through the streets of Winston-Salem, NC. The march was led by the Farm Labor Organizing Committee (FLOC) to demand negotiations with R.J. Reynolds over the “oppressive conditions” suffered by North Carolina tobacco workers, which included “sub-minimum wages, corrupt crew leaders, extreme poverty, bootleg labor camps, major health risks and heat stroke deaths,” according to a statement from the FLOC. In 2007, Fight Back News reported the following:

Over the past month, CEO Susan Ivey… has refused to meet with the union or with religious leaders to discuss the issue, citing the fact that R.J. Reynolds is not the direct employer of these workers. But FLOC argues that because of the control that R.J. Reynolds has over their procurement systems, the company has the power to bring about changes involving all parties in the supply chain.

By 2010, the United Auto Workers (UAW) joined forces with the FLOC to take on JPMorgan Chase, partially due to its financial ties with Reynolds American. UAW President Bob King and several religious leaders announced their intention to withdraw hundreds of millions of dollars from the bank. Why would they do such a thing? According to the AFL-CIO Now blog:

For three years, Susan Ivey… has refused to meet with workers to discuss the conditions of thousands of tobacco farm employees in North Carolina and other states who harvest the tobacco Reynolds uses to make its products. JPMorgan Chase is one of the lead banks in a consortium of lenders that provides $498 million in credit to Reynolds American.

In May 2011, Reynolds American finally agreed to meet with the FLOC after 150 workers and community supporters rallied on May 6 at the company’s shareholder meeting. The company pledged to use an independent monitor to assess working conditions at its farms and to create a council of tobacco manufacturers, growers, labor officials, agricultural scientists, farm workers, and their representatives, including the FLOC.

By then, Ivey was no longer part of the company. She had retired three months earlier, leaving a “legacy that stretches beyond the boardroom,” according to the Winston-Salem Journal. “Stories abound about Ivey’s energetic contributions to nonprofit organizations as large as United Way of Forsyth County, the Winston-Salem YWCA and Salem College, and as small as Senior Services Inc. and the Stokes County Arts Council.” The paper gushes on about her accomplishments in business and philanthropy without mentioning her lack of concern for tobacco workers. According to an article from the Institute of Southern Studies:

FLOC President Baldemar Velasquez called Reynolds “one of the most anti-worker companies in the field,” citing its subminimum wages as well as illnesses and heat-stroke deaths among tobacco pickers. They’re brought on by a relentless work pace, pesticides, and acute nicotine poisoning caused by a lack of protective clothing and training.

Ivey’s initial response to protesters—we don’t directly employ these workers, so there’s nothing we can do—was repeated in 2011 by representatives of Publix when they refused to negotiate with the Coalition of Immokalee Workers (CIW), despite similar deals struck by the CIW with companies like Taco Bell, Burger King, McDonald’s, Aramark, and Whole Foods (none of which directly employ farm workers).

Well, fair enough. That was all a few months ago. This is now. The Gainesville Sun reported in June that UF’s Board of Trustees had “gone through a major turnover” after Governor Rick Scott appointed Atlanta health care executive W. Michael Heekin, Naples health care executive Alan M. Levine, and Florida Power and Light senior attorney Juliet M. Roulhac. And now we have Susan Cameron, formerly Susan Ivey. We can rest assured to know that UF’s Board of Trustees is business-savvy, if nothing else.

If you’re new to UF, “block tuition” is the idea of charging students a minimum tuition fee equivalent to the value of 15 credit hours each semester, even if they’re signed up for less than fifteen credits. The policy was proposed by the administration last year as a way to pressure students into signing up for more classes each semester, thereby increasing UF’s four-year graduation rates. The policy would have also increased UF’s revenue by $4 million to $5 million, which is “not that substantial” compared to its total revenue, according to UF spokesman Steve Orlando. The driving force, he said, was to get students “done as quickly as possible to provide accessibility for incoming students.”

The proposal was a little bit controversial, to say the least. Students with part-time and full-time jobs (in 2009, that was 42 percent of all students) would have had to pay about $500 extra for classes they simply didn’t have time to take.

Okay, so let’s move forward to 2011. On a Sept. 6 Board of Trustees meeting, UF Provost Joe Glover said block tuition is no longer necessary, referring to a recent spike in four-year graduation rates. In 2010, the rate was 64 percent, compared to 58 percent in 2009. UF’s four-year graduation rates have been steadily rising since 1991. Whether the 6 percent increase between 2009 and 2010 is an unusual spike or the start of a larger trend, could there be any other factor that may have influenced the administration’s decision? As reported by Christina Rabaza, one of our contributing writers, in 2010:

“About 100 protesters marched to Tigert Hall Nov. 17 with signs, chants, 750 petition signatures and personal accounts of what block tuition means to them. About 30 protesters sat in on the Board of Trustees meeting Dec. 9, which [UF Trustee Carlos Alfonso] said more than likely swayed the board to delay the policy’s implementation.”

In Student Government elections last Spring, 90 percent of students voted against block tuition, a victory celebrated by both competing parties. Let’s not forget that the administration’s decision to place block tuition on the ballot in the first place was the result of a petition put forward by members of Students for a Democratic Society (SDS).

Wait, did SDS actually accomplish something? The Alligator seems to think they’re useless: “Next, we throw a we-don’t-want-to-pay-higher-tuition-either-but-holding-picket-signs-isn’t-going-to-do-anything DART to Students for a Democratic Society.” That’s right—screw off, SDS. Student protesters should shut up, go home, and swallow whatever the administration tells them.

On August 30, members of SDS turned in more than 1200 signatures to get another question on the ballot for the next round of student elections, which will be held on Sept. 27 and 28. The question reads, “Do you support repealing the 15 percent tuition increase at the University of Florida?” If your answer is “yes,” you might want to pick up a sign, occupy some buildings, and give ‘em hell. It’s not like Student President Ben Meyers will stick up for you this time, since he made it clear in June that the 15 percent tuition increase is perfectly okay with him.

If the name “Keith Smith” doesn’t ring a bell, he’s the same officer that got reprimanded in 2008 when he accompanied intoxicated Gainesville Police Department (GPD) officers in an incident that involved throwing eggs at “suspected drug dealers and prostitutes” in a poor black neighborhood. This would contribute later to accusations of racism among student protesters and community members, but the facts in this case were questionable. According to his personal file with the UPD, Smith was reprimanded for witnessing wrongdoing (the egg-throwing by GPD officers) but failing to prevent it on three occasions.

Two years later, he shot a physically handicapped black graduate student in the face, resulting in a life-threatening injury, a tidal wave of student protests, and a soon-to-be-released documentary.

Kofi Adu-Brempong, an international graduate student from Ghana, had suffered from polio in his childhood and therefore walked with a cane. On March 2, 2010, a concerned neighbor called 911 to report screaming in Adu-Brempong’s apartment, which may have been the result of a nervous breakdown. For at least a year before the incident, Adu-Brempong had suffered from paranoid delusions. He refused to let police officers enter his apartment, and after about 90 minutes, they forcefully entered. “I’m fine!” he shouted. The officers tried to subdue him with a Taser and a beanbag gun and then shot him twice, in his hand and his face, with a Bushmaster M-4 rifle.

UPD’s Critical Incident Response Team (sort of like UF’s SWAT team), which included Smith, claimed Adu-Brempong had threatened them with a knife and a pipe during the 52 seconds between their entrance and the final shot fired. As it turned out, there was no knife involved and the “pipe” they referred to was a table leg. To be fair, the room was dark.

Ten months later, the UPD received national recognition for their “innovative law enforcement responses to people with mental illnesses.”

UF’s Coalition for Justice Against Police Brutality, a student group that used to be called “Justice for Kofi,” led a series of protests and made a list of demands for the UF administration and the State Attorney’s office, which included an independent police review board, an independent investigation into the shooting, and the termination of Officer Smith, who fired the bullet that remains lodged in Kofi Adu-Brempong’s spine.

Smith no longer works for the UPD, but his termination had nothing to do with the shooting, according to UPD Chief Linda Stump. The Florida Department of Law Enforcement’s initial investigation had cleared Smith of wrongdoing, Stump says, and the decision to fire Smith was triggered by his behavior on July 23, 2011.

A twenty-year-old white male had been recklessly driving a Mercedes-Benz convertible at 79 miles per hour while throwing bottles out the window. Smith chased him down at a high speed and pulled him over, resulting in a confrontation in which Smith shouted and threatened to shoot him. Smith was temporarily suspended and, on Sept. 1, Stump decided to make it permanent, writing that she had “lost confidence” in his judgment. Ironically, Smith’s career didn’t end with the bang that shattered Kofi’s jaw, but with a relatively silent whimper in which he drove at an “unsafe speed” and threatened to shoot a privileged white kid.

This issue, as always, comes from our dedicated and talented staff of writers.  We can name all of them on one hand.  Seriously.  A publication, even one as small as ours, cannot sustain itself on a staff that can share one six-pack of beer.  We need the kind of staff that can at least get through an 18-pack without falling down.

We need you to help us.  Not just with getting through cases of beer, but with actual publication stuff.  We get it, you’re busy, you have school and work and a girlfriend/boyfriend/both, things to reblog or tweet about and a social life.  But we do, too.  We do the Fine Print because we get to make something that’s tangible, beautifully presented, informative and investigative and actually fun (sometimes, maybe after a bottle of wine).  We help our writers write, we help each other edit, and we become better at what we do.

If that’s not good enough for you, you can also receive school credit for working with us.   Why would you intern with The Fine Print opposed to another publication in Gainesville?  You will get absolute freedom to do what you want to do.  You won’t be asked to write recycled stories or to censor your viewpoint.  You can walk around town and write whatever the hell you want.  Just do it with purpose. We’ll work with you throughout the whole process of reporting, writing and editing and we won’t stop, literally, until both of us are completely satisfied with the end product.

If you’re not a writer, but you can do something, anything; illustrate or photograph, if you’re a web developer, a designer, a promoter, if you play in a band or have a sick talent for being extremely organized, talk to us.  We are so sparse, your ability to be enthusiastic and dedicated is good enough for us.

The Fine Print offers a chance for you to give a voice to the marginalized, to feature eccentric people and their projects, political or artistic, and to take on popular issues from a new angle.  The Fine Print lets you examine Gainesville from your own perspective and inform our readers of subjects and issues that would otherwise go unnoticed.

You can also get school credit.  Did we mention that?

Thanks for your support in the future and in the past,

The Fine Print Staff

Making Mulberry Wine
(Time Frame – 1 year or more)
This Recipe is adapted from an elderberry wine recipe in the book, Wild Fermentation. It is meant to make five gallons of wine; however, you can make less if you have a smaller carboy. For example, I collected one gallon of mulberries and used two one-gallon apple juice jars.

What you need
(makes 5 gallons of mulberry wine)
- Three gallons of mulberries
- Water
- One packet of commercial wine/champagne yeast (can be purchased at Hoggetowne Ale Works on W. Univ. Ave. and 34th St.)
- 10-12 lbs. sugar
- One five-gallon carboy (a huge jug, usually glass or plastic)
- One airlock (looks like something from your high school chemistry class and is usually plastic; it fits onto the lid of the carboy and when filled partially with water, allows gases to be released from the carboy without letting contaminants in)

How to make it
1. Clean your mulberries well, discarding any unripe or moldy berries and trash.

2. Boil two to three gallons of water. Pour it over the berries to submerge them. Cover the bucket with a towel, leave it overnight to steep and cool.

3. Scoop out one cup of the liquid and add a packet of yeast. Allow the yeast to activate and bubble, then add it to the berries and water. Stir with a wooden spoon and cover.

4. Let it sit for two to three days, stirring often. This allows time for the yeast to feed on the sugar of the berries and begin the fermentation process. The wine should begin to get a little frothy.

5. After two to three days, pour 10 lbs. (20 cups) of sugar into a cooking pot and cover with enough water to liquefy. Heat slowly, stirring constantly until the sugar dissolves into a clear syrup.
When the syrup cools, add it to the mulberries.

6. Ferment for three to five days, covered and stirring often. The wine should begin to bubble vigorously.

7. Once the bubbling slows, strain wine into the 5-gallon carboy. It should only fill the carboy part of the way. Place the berries in a container and cover with water. Mash the berries in water, strain this water into the carboy. Fill the carboy, but make sure to leave a few inches at the top for foam headroom.

8. Store the carboy at room temp for the first month. Put a large pan or towel around the bottom to catch any frothy overflow. If this occurs, clean the airlock and the mouth of the carboy. Fermentation will slow gradually.

9. Test the sugar content by removing the airlock and sprinkling a little sugar on the surface of the wine. If nothing occurs, the sugar content is good. If it causes a yeast reaction (looks like bubbling and frothing) add another cup of sugar. Wait a few days, and repeat as necessary. Add only one cup of sugar at a time and no more than four additional cups total.

10. After two months, siphon the wine into a clean carboy, leaving the sediment behind. Insert an airlock and relocate the carboy to a cool, dark place. Ferment for at least nine months and periodically check to make sure the water hasn’t completely evaporated out of the airlock. Refill and clean the airlock as necessary.
After nine months, enjoy!

Red mulberry
Moris rubra
Red mulberry trees are most common in Florida. In some places you can also find the asian white mulberry trees. The leaves are toothed and can be oval or lobed. The berries are usually longer than raspberries or blackberries, which grow in brambles.

You can spot a mulberry tree because the area around the tree is stained a deep purple. If you can reach, pick ripe mulberries straight from the tree. If not, put a blanket on the ground, climb into the tree and shake it vigorously. A torrent of berries will rain down.

Mulberries don’t sit well for more than a couple of days. Their high water content and thin skins cause them to ferment quickly. This makes them perfect for wine. They can also be eaten fresh, cooked, dried, frozen or preserved.

There is a Greek folklore of how red mulberries got their color, Pyramus and Thisbe, by Ovid.

“Pyramus and Thisbe were neighbors who fell in love, but their parents disapproved. The lovers communicated secretly, through a crack in the wall separating their houses. One night, they eloped, but Thisbe was frightened away from their rendezvous point- a white mulberry tree- by a bloody-mouthed lion that had just finished a meal. She escaped and hid, but lost her cloak, which the lion mauled and bloodied.

Pyramus, seeing the bloody-mouthed lion and the cloak, imagined the worst, and impaled himself on his sword. His blood colored the mulberries red. When Thisbe found him and realized what had happened, she followed him to death on the same sword. The European mulberry species has been red ever since, colored by the lovers’ blood.”

Romantic, huh?

Local, wild edibles in season now
- Loquats (jams, wines, salsa, compote, pies and cobblers)
- Wild onions (pearl onion root or chives; pickled, salads and sautés, sauces)
- Jasmine flowers (infused in oils for natural body care)
- Chickweed leaves (salads, dressings, sautés)
- Dandelion (leaves: in salads and dressings)
- Cleaver leaves (salads and dressings, curries, risottos)

Some resources
- Wild Fermentation, by Sandor Katz.
- Identifying and Harvesting Edible and Medicinal Plants in Wild (and Not So Wild) Places, by Steve Brill
- Country Wisdom and Know-How, edited by Storey Books.

Police Review Board
UF has recently created a police advisory board, which was called for last year by a Student Government (SG) referendum. Unfortunately, the new advisory board falls short of SG’s intentions. It has no investigatory power, which is defined as the ability to subpoena documents that would have otherwise not been available to the public. Unlike the review board in Key West, it can only review completed internal affairs documents, which are available to the public anyway. It also consists of fewer students (only three out of eight members) and no permanent minority representation.

The Coalition for Justice Against Police Brutality, the main protest group that demanded the advisory board’s creation, contends as a primary grievance that Linda Stump, chief of the UFPD, sits at the head of the board. The power is in her hands to convene the board and veto its decisions. Furthermore, the board’s conclusions are non-binding. Essentially, this is a glorified complaint box, according to protesters.

Meal Limits Compromise
On March 31, the City Plan Board, an advisory board for the City Commission, voted unanimously for the “time limit compromise.” Kent Vann, executive director of St. Francis House, initially proposed the compromise, which would limit the time they can serve the needy to three hours each day from 10:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m., as opposed to limiting the amount of meals they can serve. The City Commission still needs to vote on this, though. In 2009, when the City Plan Board recommended an end to the meal limit, the City Commission voted them down.

Fox News, Eh?
We don’t want to be like Americans, eh?  Canada’s media broadcast regulator, the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC) proposed lifting a ban on broadcasting fake or misleading news this past January.  The CRTC stated the proposal was in response to a ten-year-old committee request to reconsider the ban’s wording, as it may violate freedom of speech.

The CRTC’s sudden interest in this decade-old request coincides with the launch of a new 24-hour news network by the Sun News Network called SunTV.  Sun News is one of the most right-wing newspapers in Canada and the station is expected to have a hard right-wing bias, earning the title “Fox News North.”  Unlike Fox News in America, SunTV will not be allowed to blur the line between real news and “fake news and misleading information” in its broadcast unless the ban is lifted.

The proposal to lift the ban was met with harsh criticism from Canadians, who feared that their country’s media would become like the polarized American media where sensationalism, “fake news” and opinions take the place of real news. Due to public outcry, the CRTC dropped their proposal to lift the ban. SunTV will have to stick to its tag line of “hard news and straight talk.”

For more paper cuts, check out Paper Cuts / 4.1.11.

Vox: Voices for Planned Parenthood is a group on the UF campus that promotes safe sex, sex education, healthy relationships, and reproductive rights. That’s what the pamphlet says and that’s what you’ve heard before. Here’s what it means in action.

We believe in masturbation. Not just because it’s a great stress-reliever, but because it’s you and your genitalia against the world. Give it a little love every once in a while. How are you supposed to know what makes it go if you never start it up?

We believe in consensual sexual revolution and exploration. Through experience and experimentation, with yourself and others, you may come to find out that you have your own unique sexual proclivities, but it’s important to note that your man may not be that pleased with a surprise poke in the anus. By the same token, your lady may not take too kindly to an unexpected full-on phallus-face assault. If you and your partner are into that, then sure – break out the strap-ons and hump away at her glorious visage. Communication is the cornerstone of a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship. Ask and you may very well receive.

We believe in disease prevention and protection. Whether a one-night stand or a long-term relationship, if you trust someone enough to wedge their extremities into an orifice of your choosing, then your mouth should be unobstructed long enough to discuss and formulate a plan with your co-conspirator against STI transmission: condoms, dental dams, and non-penetrative sex are some options.

We believe in options. In heterosexual sex, unwanted pregnancy can be a concern, and birth control is different for everyone. Some folks prefer a daily oral contraceptive pill, a shot, a hormone-releasing implant, an adhesive patch, sponges, diaphragms, an apparatus in the uterus. There’s no lack of choices; even the tried-and-true intrauterine device comes in several varieties. For a lot of people, though, condoms are the way to go; they prevent pregnancy, but they’re also the only way to prevent the transmission of STIs during penis-related sexual activities.

If these methods fail, emergency contraception is the go-to backup. It’s important to say that emergency contraception like Plan B is not an “abortion pill,” but simply a high dose of birth control that can prevent pregnancy for up to five days after a particular sexual incident. A pill with a much less fancy name, RU-486, is sometimes used in place of early-gestation surgical abortions.

Here’s where things get contentious. We believe there are no dirty words, least of all “feminist,” “abortion,” or “politics.” However, in the last year, things have gotten more challenging.

We used to talk to our legislators about the power of comprehensive, age-appropriate sex education in our communities. We used to work to make sure our legislators were aware of the link between education and greater access to birth control resulting in fewer abortions. We used to appeal to reason in an attempt to improve quality of life. Now we fight simply to maintain the few sexual rights we do have for the next generation, in Florida and across the country.

We fight because we know that when a woman has the right to choose, she has the right to determine the course of her own life. It is only for her to decide when and if she wants to carry a pregnancy to term.

Our membership is diverse, and so are our causes. We are intelligent young people who are working and hoping for happy, healthy, and equal communities.

He contrasted his plight with the comfortable position women enjoy today. Our government allows women to have all the choice and freedom in the world. We have freedom and control over our own bodies with the right to choose to have an abortion, yet Sen. Paul is left in the dirt. He is denied this same freedom of choice and is forced, punishable by a nasty fine, to use water-conserving and energy-efficient toilets, light bulbs and washing machines.

I don’t usually identify as a feminist. I don’t act or look like the stereotype; I shave my legs, I wear make-up and sometimes I call other girls sluts and whores (sorry, Tina Fey). But Congressmen aren’t making it so easy to continue to make that distinction. So, I’d like to hereby declare myself a feminist.

I am a feminist because I oppose Congress getting inside my you-know-what (I don’t want to offend the Florida Senate who consider “uterus” a dirty, unspeakable word) to tell me how else I, and all women, are being indecent, impulsive or selfish. Can someone please tell me what is indecent, selfish or impulsive about having autonomy over my own body and my own life by deciding when the best time for me to have a baby is? In the words of Tina Fey via Regina George, Congress, you are the nastiest skank bitch I’ve ever met.

Feminists, those ungodly creatures pro-lifers love to rally against, are now demanding from Congressmen (emphasis on men), that women continue to have access to abortions at Planned Parenthood, which is made possible by federal subsidies. Sure, tax payer money isn’t specifically allocated toward abortions, but paying for sexual health education for women and family planning and health care services like HIV testing, pap smears, breast cancer screenings and contraceptives certainly does free up a lot of “other” money that can go toward providing abortions.

Another victory for masculinists (that’s the opposite of feminists, right?) was narrowly won in early April when SB 1744 passed through another round of votes 7-5. This bill would require pregnant women seeking abortions to first have an ultrasound and then listen to a description of the fetus. Graciously, she will not be forced to see the image. Clearly, women are too stupid and flippant to be trusted with a decision as big as abortion. We must first sit her down and go over in painful detail and simple language what a fetus is, what her fetus looks like, and, to be certain, what a baby and abortion even are.

To be fair, once funding is cut from Planned Parenthood she probably won’t know what any of those are anyway since her access to sexual health education, women’s healthcare services and family planning will be limited. The hope is that she will not get an abortion, either because she can’t afford one now that Planned Parenthood is defunded or because she will be so traumatized by the sonogram and rhetoric being forced upon her, that she will save tax payers that expense and will just start a family.

Unfortunately, she won’t be able to send her child to pre-school, an institution that has proven to give children an academic advantage in elementary school, because Head Start, a federally-sponsored program designed to give disadvantaged children and families that opportunity, will be defunded by $1 billion. That woman might then be forced to stay at home with her child, which might prevent her from getting a job. Since she can’t get a job, she might need to go on welfare, which no matter how you feel about it is generally acknowledged to cost tax payers money. That child will then have a Backwards Start, being born into a low-income household without the opportunity of a pre-school environment or planned family situation.

When a woman doesn’t have access to contraceptives, health care or sexual health education, she is at the mercy of her body and those she may choose to share it with; she can’t control the course of her own life. Since contraceptives and abortions were made legal and accessible in the United States, women have been able to significantly reduce the number of children they bear; fewer women marry and those who do, marry later on in life. Consequently, more women pursue a higher education, earn higher incomes, maintain better health and participate in politics.

This “war on women,” this social conservative attack led by male politicians to keep women at bay, to keep us out of the workforce, out of school and essentially out of the entire social sphere, so that we will stay home and carry a baby to term we may or may not have planned for is disgraceful.

Until men are the ones to bleed from their genitals, until men become sacred vessels that carry life, until men are victimized by rape, until men are scrutinized for their clothing and blamed for their situations, until men want to live in a society where there are no women, no sex, no children and no future, I suggest they sit down and shut the fuck up.

This is 2011 and I will not sit idly by while women’s rights are reversed and the glass ceiling is lowered. And neither should you.

FICK
Futureshock

Released/ April 2
Recorded at/ North Avenue Studio in Orange City
Sounds like/ Mars Volta, Muse, Deftones
Inspiration/ Muse, Tool
Key tracks/ “Hear, Now, Lost,” “Daybreak”
Where to get it/ $7 on their Facebook
Upcoming shows/ May 7 @ 1982; see Facebook for future shows

Guitar, keyboard/ Kyle Fick
Vocals/ Dan Sutphin
Bass/ K.D McClellan/ bass
Drums/ Kellen Chesnutt

Living in a punk- and hipster-driven town, there’s no shortage of local punk or “experimental” bands. In between those popular local genres, discovering serious progressive rock is a rarity. FICK fills that gap. They are a guitar-heavy, post-grunge rock band with metal influences; they have that epic “the word is ending in a cascade of heavy guitar riffs” sound. On the six-track release, soft violin ballads introduce their hefty progressive rock, while eerie minor piano chords weave throughout. Their dark lyrics match their heavy melodies covering alcohol, restlessness, God, and nightmares.

“Our subjects are a little bit bigger than the words themselves. We wanted more over-the-top lyrics so we could connect and relate to more people,” Sutphin said.

Kyle Fick has been playing the guitar for 14 years in addition to playing the piano. Fick is passionate about music and is determined to make room for it while also running his business, Karma Cream.
- Ellen McHugh

Douglas Shields & The X-Factors (DSXF)
Self-titled EP

Released/ Feb 15
Recorded at/ Black Bear Audio Maul in Gainesville
Sounds like/ The Thermals, old school New Found Glory
Inspiration/ The Weakerthans, the Gainesville scene
Key tracks/ “Beach Volleyball,” “Schwan Dolphin”
Where to get it/ $5 7” or $2 digital download on bandcamp, shows
Upcoming shows/ “Like” them on Facebook to stay in the loop

Guitar, vocals/ Francisco “Kiiks” Santelli
Drums/ Zach Sorensen
Bass/ Randy Reddell

Douglas Shields and the X-Factors deliver fast-paced punk with a folk twist. DSXF, named after an (un)popular transcription service that all three have worked at in Gainesville, have been playing to crowded sweaty living rooms and dark and dingy dive bars to emphatic energetic crowds for more than few years now.

Their new self-titled EP comes out just a year after recording their full-length release, Beerhorse. Beerhorse introduced us to mosh-worthy punk and the new four-track EP refuses to disappoint. DSXF is the straightforward, tightly-packed punk you’ve come to know and love (complete with angsty sing-a-longs by Kiiks) with honest and reflective lyrics.

“Everybody’s in a band,” singer, Kiiks said. “Just hang out at Boca Fiesta all day and you’ll find the music scene,” he said, eating a tempeh burrito.
- Ellen McHugh

To All My Dear Friends (TAMDF)
Transparent Voyages

Released/ March 18
Recorded at/ Black Bear Audio Maul in Gainesville
Sounds like/ Owen Pallet
Inspiration/ Rachmaninoff, Led Zeppelin
Key tracks/ “Japan To Kenya and Back,” “The Book of Tofu”
Where to get it/ $9.99 on iTunes and at Hear Again Records
Upcoming shows/ National tour; see website for dates/venues

Violin, guitar, vocals/ Marc Hennessey
Percussion/ Greg Stull

TAMDF is not your average guitar, bass and percussion band.  Stull and Hennessey mix traditional instruments, guitar, violin and percussion, with technology to create a build-up of layered sound.  Hennessey uses a machine to first record a live snippet of music and then plays it back to record on top of it.  He continues to loop and build upon these elements throughout the track.  The result is multiple climaxes and declines that feel built up and released. Some tracks feature vocals with lyrics by Hennessey, but most rely on instrumental melodies.

“I stopped playing in the orchestra, but I wanted to keep playing. I wanted to do instrumental music, and I wanted to write my own music. I didn’t know how to bring it all together,” Hennessey said. “Then I learned about looping and was like ‘Oh, I can do that.’”

TAMDF weaves sound in unpredictable directions like a soundtrack for a fantasy adventure.The result is Transparent Voyages.
- Ellen McHugh

The Hear Hums
Psyche Cycles

Released/ Dec. 2010
Recorded at/ Spare/dorm rooms
Sounds like/ Animal Collective, Yeasayer
Inspiration/ Bjork, Huun Huur Tu, Múm
Key tracks/ “Woo,” “Mokom Wolos,” “Forest Vibus”
Where to get it/ Free digital download or $10 CD on bandcamp
Upcoming shows/ Tour kickoff May 5 @ The Lab (see Facebook for tour dates/venues)

Guitar, vocals, electronics/ Mitch Myers
Drums, vocals/ Kenzie Cooke

When the Hear Hums get on stage, they perform a synchronized dance of drums, dials and outdoor imagery to go with their music.

“We try to create an experience rather than [just] a band performing a song,” Kenzie said.

The Hear Hums use drum cadences, distant vocals and an outer-space-like influence to construct something unfamiliar yet charming. Straying away from a traditional “rock band” set-up toward new techniques, including electronic elements, distortion and visuals, the Hear Hums seamlessly blend nature with synthetics.

“[We’re] sculpting a specific world, like an environment or something,” Meyers said.

In between the heavy drum beats, loops and far-away echoed screaming, there’s a message for you to feel, however you want to feel it.

“I think the point of music is to help people relate their feelings and emotions to what you’re doing, relate it to their own life,” Kenzie said. “Like you’re speaking to them through your experiences.”
- Priscilla Bass

This misrepresentation of facts was recently highlighted by the “is it just me or is it cold outside, so global climate change must be a scam” bandwagon that assaulted our airwaves this past winter. To be perfectly clear, it is just you.

We had a cold winter this year because the temperature of the Earth is rising.  Arctic ice is melting, causing the ocean to absorb sunlight that otherwise would have been reflected. This causes the air above the water to heat up, pushing the arctic air current further south and creating lower temperatures in the southeastern United States. Since the beginning of the 20th Century, the global temperature has increased 0.74°C (1.33°F).

A 2010 article from the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that 97 to 98 percent of climate scientists recognize the evidence for man-made climate change. The last scientific body to hold a dissenting opinion, the American Association of Petroleum Geologists, changed their position in 2007.

The Media

A recently leaked internal Fox News document posted by Media Matters states very clearly that, in the spirit of “fair and balanced” coverage, every time climate change is mentioned it must also be said that the data has been called into question by critics.

The media’s coverage of climate change plays on a very important concept within the scientific community: skepticism. Scientists are, by trade, among the least trusting people on the planet. You would be hard-pressed to find a scientist who doesn’t think there needs to be more research on climate change or other widely-held theories like evolution, or even gravity.

Under the guise of the media, the word “theory” has shifted in meaning from a well-established, tested and verified hypothesis to the random opinion of some guy in his basement. Worst of all, the word “skeptic” has been hijacked to mean an active denial of the scientific consensus. A Pew study in 2009 found that 76% of scientists feel the media is doing the public a disservice by failing to distinguish between research that is well-founded and research that is not.

To make climate change seem like more of a “controversy” than it is, the media divides air time disproportionately between the 97 percent of climate scientists who recognize the evidence for climate change and the dissenting 3 percent (as well as non-climate scientists) who do not.

No ones pays attention to the flat-earth society. Why? Because there’s no political or financial incentive to manufacture a controversy over the shape of the Earth.

Conservative Think Tanks

If someone has an economic interest in denying or advocating for something, there’s a good chance they’re spinning the truth. A 2008 study in Environmental Politics found that 92% of the 141 anti-environmentalist books published between 1972 and 2005 were funded by conservative think tanks (CTT). These books questioned the existence of climate change, ozone depletion and the like.

The list of CTTs that deny climate change while promoting corporate interests is extensive, but here are three of the top offenders.

• The American Enterprise Institute (AEI) circulated a letter in 2006 offering $10,000 to any scientist willing to criticize a soon-to-be released report by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC). By 2006, the AEI had received $1.6 million in funding from ExxonMobile.

• The Heartland Institute hosts the annual International Conference on Climate Change. Their list of “climate experts” is low on actual climate scientists and their list of co-sponsors is low on actual science organizations. Their donors are kept secretive now, but according to Media Matters, they have received money from the Walton Family Foundation (Walmart) and ExxonMobil.

• The George C. Marshall Institute has received funding from ExxonMobil and still denies that chlorofluorocarbons destroy the ozone, that second hand smoke causes cancer and that acid rain exists. One of their chairmen, William Happer, is a physicist (not a climate scientist) who testified before Congress in 2009 that increased CO2 in the atmosphere will be good for humans.

According to the Center for American Progress Action Fund, climate change lobbyists spent over $500 million to influence legislation and on electoral campaigns from 2009 to 2010. Their efforts have paid off. Of the 20 Republican senate candidates for the 2010 midterm election, 19 were climate change deniers.

Research published in the December 2010 issue of Psychology Science reveals that Americans are less likely to believe in climate change if it questions their worldview. Participants in the study who believed in a just world were more likely to deny climate change when shown negative videos or articles – that is, something that shows the adverse consequences of climate change. In other words, Americans who believed the world is just, orderly and stable were likely to dismiss ideas that challenged their view.

According to a Rasmussen poll conducted in January 2011, 38% of Americans are not concerned with climate change and only 33% are taking it very seriously. As soon as the media presents climate change as a real, tangible threat rather than a matter of debate, we can move forward and start finding solutions.

Biomass plant
The completion of the proposed biomass plant in Gainesville has been in legal limbo due to three appeals pending in the 1st District Court of Appeals and the Florida Supreme Court. These lawsuits were recently settled in return for American Renewable making the contract fully open to the public. The most important thing the contract holds are the terms of a buy-out. If for some reason, the biomass plant becomes unprofitable or the city wishes to terminate its contract, we will soon know what it will cost.

Fl. teachers’ pay now tied to student performance
Florida Governor Rick Scott has recently approved a bill tying teacher pay to student performance.  Aside from decreasing job security for teachers, the bill inadvertently encourages the best teachers to leave under-performing schools.  With the disproportionate number of under-performing schools in low-income and minority neighborhoods, the bill only serves to reduce opportunities for underprivileged students and therefore widen the achievement gap.

UF tuition set to increase by 30% next year
UF President Bernie Machen is looking to increase tuition by 30% next year. This requires special approval since state universities are only allowed to increase tuition by 15% a year.  As tuition rates go up, proposed federal budget cuts will mean $10 million less in Pell Grants, which aid lower-income families. With Florida Bright Futures not covering the tuition increases, higher education may become less attainable for working-class students.

Creationism in schools
In 2009, Florida state Senator Stephen Wise (R-Jacksonville) said, “Why do we still have apes if we came from them?” Two years later, he was appointed chairman of Florida’s Senate Education Committee. Recently, he introduced a bill that would require science educators to “teach a thorough presentation and critical analysis of the scientific theory of evolution.” A thorough presentation is already part of the science curriculum in Florida’s schools. Is Wise trying to push schools to “teach the controversy” between scientifically established evolution and unscientific creationism?

Immigration enforcement
UF Professor and Senate President Mike Haridopolos (R-Merritt Island) wants Secure Communities to come to all of Florida. Secure Communities is a technology-based initiative designed to identify undocumented immigrants using biometrics. No conviction is needed for deportation, only a match in the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) database. The proposals would grant state and local police a level of authority formerly reserved for ICE officials. This shift in authority may be dangerous, discouraging undocumented people from reporting crimes or cooperating with local and state officers due to the threat of deportation.

One of the first steps in liberating women in oppressed societies is to educate them on contraceptives and reproductive health. When she doesn’t have access to contraceptives, health care or sexual health education, she surrenders her dreams and aspirations to the will of her body and those she shares it with; she is enslaved.

Since contraceptives and abortions were made legal and accessible in the United States, women have significantly been able to reduce the number of children they bear, fewer women marry and those who do, marry later on in life. In correlation with that, more women pursue a higher education, earn higher incomes, maintain better health and participate in politics.

Women’s rights may seem a trite subject to harp on. But the news here is that the progress made for women’s equality is now in jeopardy.

The New York Times, The Nation, Ms. Magazine and The Huffington Post, to name just a few, have called it the “war on women” and even more report women’s rights are “under attack.” Melissa Harris-Perry of the Nation goes so far as to claim this is an attack led by social conservatives to push women out of the social sphere and back into the home.

That may seem extreme, but what else are we led to believe? Regardless of whether or not this is simply another political guise to bring abortion, i.e. the religious agenda, to the forefront of the conservative platform, as some pundits suggest, the fact that it continues to work is troubling. Abortion, and women’s rights, are a general crowd pleaser of a debate, when really this debate should be as obsolete as civil rights.

Attacking low-income women and their access to family planning and reproductive healthcare services does not create jobs. It certainly does not decrease the deficit since unplanned-for-children are more likely to cost money in childcare, welfare, education, and other federally-funded programs, and it does not benefit the future of America, for both mothers and their children.

In 2011, the War and the Attack on Women remains a sad reality in politics. Fortunately, organizing, protesting and voicing your opinion can be as simple as opening up your browser and finding events near you, like Gainesville’s recent Walk for Choice or signing petitions like Planned Parenthood’s petition to let Congress know you are not in support of the bill to defund Planned Parenthood. The Fine Print is dedicated more than ever to remain a resource for local events and issues, including women’s rights.

While some gardeners prefer to plant seeds directly into the ground, I prefer to begin with starter trays and transplant the seedlings to the ground when they are ready. But I hate buying new starter trays: the plastic ones are wasteful and break easily, the compostable ones, too expensive. Plus, every garbage day the street outside my house is lined with recycling bins full of useful objects begging to be turned into planters. With a little imagination those egg cartons, plastic bottles, paper cups, and Styrofoam to-go boxes could become planters for this season’s harvest.

My favorite recycled planter is made with old newspaper. Last year I made over 100 pots in a couple of days with a few newspapers I saved. Here’s how!

First, you’ll need:
- Half-sheets of newspaper (The Alligator is the perfect size)
- A cup with a straight neck or a wine bottle (try to find one with a smallindentation on the bottom).
- Dirt
- Seeds

Step 1 Fold the newspaper sheet in half, length-wise, and again once more so you have a long, narrow piece of paper.

Step 2 Roll the folded newspaper all the way around the lip of the cup (if you using a bottle, wrap the paper around the bottom), leaving half of the paper off at the top.

Step 3 Fold the other half inside the cup (or toward the bottom of the bottle- this is where that indention comes in handy) and crease around all the edges.

Step 4 Remove the pot from the cup/bottle. If you look inside the pot, you’ll notice that the bottom is still folded up. Use your fingers to flatten the bottom.

Step 5 Fill with nutrient-rich soil and plant your seeds (only a couple per pot). Store the pots where they will not be disturbed, like a tray. Water everyday until the seedlings are ready to be planted in the ground.

Tip Peel back the sides of the newspaper planter before burying in the ground to allow for easier root development. You can bury the entire planter and allow it to decompose as the plant grows. When peeling back the sides, remember that the fragile new roots may have connected to the sides of the paper, so be gentle!

Plant of the Month
Spanish Moss
Tillandsia usneoides

If you’ve spent anytime at all in Florida, you undoubtedly have crossed paths with that strange grey hair draped around trees. You’ve probably also heard that it is full of chiggers and have always kept a safe distance from it. However this plant has a long history of uses that you may have never given it credit for.

First, lets dispel the chigger myth: not all Spanish Moss is crawling with the red bugs. Actually, Spanish moss that is hanging in a tree does not host chiggers, while the moss found on the ground does.

Spanish moss grows on a variety of trees, but is most commonly found on Live Oak and Cypress trees. It is an air plant that has no root structure (so it is not actually parasitic to a host tree) and produces tiny greenish-blue flowers in the summer that are aromatic at night.

This strange plant, native to Southeastern United States and parts of Central and South America, has an interesting old Florida folktale of its origin that goes like this:

“After many long months at sea, Spanish sailors landed in Florida upon sighting some beautiful Indian maidens who were sunbathing on the beach. One Spaniard chased a beautiful maiden into the woods. But she trotted up a tree out of his reach.

“He was out of breath when he reached the tree, so he rested for a while. Then he climbed the tree after her. She moved up to the tip-top of the tree on a real small limb, and as he reached up to get her, he lost his balance and fell.

“His head was caught in the crotch of the tree. His body decayed, but his beard grew on and on… making Spanish moss.”

Regardless of its origin, it has served some interesting uses over the years. Cured and dried, it has been used as a bathing sponge and toilet paper; stuffing for mattresses and cushions; and weaving for clothing, horse bridles, belts, and baskets.

In the early 1900’s, Spanish Moss was harvested commercially and used primarily as stuffing in car seats. Mattress and furniture factories also incorporated the plant into their design. Presently, synthetic fibers have replaced the plant’s commercial use, and in 1963, a fire in Florida’s last moss gin drew an end to its commercial distribution within Florida.

There are still plenty of homesteaders using the plant for a variety of things. Try it out, and be creative. It could become a substitute for your synthetic kitchen sponge or even a mulch for your plants.

First of all, we’d like to congratulate the University of Florida Police Department (UFPD) for being chosen by the Council of State Governments Justice Center to act as a mentor for other law enforcement agencies in responding to mental illness.

According to Justice Center Director Michael Thompson, “The UFPD has proven to be a leader in innovative law enforcement responses to people with mental illnesses.”

Right, because breaking into a mentally ill grad student’s apartment and shooting him in the face is real fuckin’ innovative. Two months later, as Kofi Adu-Brempong was getting his face reconstructed, the UFPD was applying for national recognition. The Alligator was quick to point out the absurdity of the situation, but what can we do about it?

If you’re still enraged about the Kofi incident, keep in mind that student government elections are Feb. 23. Some of the leading student activists in the Justice for Kofi movement are running under the Progress Party’s ticket. Their platform calls for a Campus Police Review Board, as well as continued opposition to the administration’s block tuition policy.

In the meantime, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has crafted a plan for cleaning up Gainesville’s notorious toxic wasteland, also known as the Cabot/Koppers Superfund site. Have we reached the end of the road, or is the EPA trying to cut corners?

Sounds like perfect timing for the third chapter of “A Haunting Past,” our multi-part investigative series.

That won’t be our only investigation, though. To be honest, we’ve been overwhelmed with leads on investigative stories. We want to dig to the bottom of everything, but sadly, we can only stay awake for 56 hours at a time. To make matters worse, sometimes we run out of cigarettes.

That’s where you come in. If you think something important is getting overlooked by the mainstream media, send us an email at editors@thefineprintuf.org. If you have an interest in writing, let us know — we’re always looking for new reporters.

Amidst the confusion, one thing is certain — change is on the horizon. What was I thinking when I wrote this? Hopefully, we can keep you up-to-date on Gainesville’s underground culture and kill your mood by exposing injustice behind closed doors. We have a sense of humor, though, so don’t be too offended.

– Jeremiah (AKA the brain) and Henry (AKA the vocal chords)

In a September 27 meeting, Ambassador XXXXX congratulated Tehran on completion of their Doomsday Base. The product of 50 years of research and development, the Doomsday Base represents the culmination of the nation’s nuclear ambitions. Ambassador XXXXX applauded the highly advanced security equipment, powered by a 2 000 MW reactor within the facility (located approximately 300 km beneath the Zargos Mountain range). Most notably, Ambassador XXXXX was visibly taken aback by the 54 000 kg nuclear warhead situated within the core of the base. There was no mention of potential targets.

Washington can rest easy – looks like this leak actually supports a few things they’ve said. If the outrageous numbers were not enough, the above was an attempt at some poor humor. Unfortunately, the same sense of humor has no place around the actual cables.

Say what you will about treason or Julian Assange’s sex life, I’m constantly amazed at how we can turn away from the unreported (and in most cases actively concealed) cases of torture, corruption and murder. Instead of asking ourselves why a government deceives its citizens, we waste our best arguments deciding whether this knowledge deserves to be public. I don’t understand how this is even a question. Shouldn’t we be a little more preoccupied with the information they contain?

I’ve tried to take lessons from how the mainstream media has handled the recent flood of WikiLeaks. There are many examples where writers incorporate the leaked information into a quality article, but there are far more who exclude some of the much needed context. I wasn’t too surprised. I think the last time we got an update on Haiti’s recovery was when Sarah Palin visited, and then the discussion suddenly shifted to why FOX News was granted exclusive coverage.

In late January, Julian Assange said in an interview that the “manipulation of information by media is more dangerous than manipulation by governments.” We’ve reached a point in which the mainstream media itself, and not just the government, is an institution that needs to be held accountable.

In Dec. 2009, a managing editor of FOX News sent an email to his reporters and staff, ordering them to immediately present the objections of “critics” anytime they report on climate change data. That same managing editor, Bill Sammons, also ordered his reporters not to use the term “public option” when discussing health care reform, and instead to use a variation of the term “government option.” When did major news outlets turn into public relations agencies?

With raw information readily available worldwide, it’s time for independent journalists — and ordinary citizens — to take back the fourth estate.

Note: The byline of this article has been omitted to preserve the safety of its writers, Travis Epes and Henry Taksier.

The group meets once a month with the short-term aim of supporting each other, and with the long-term vision of fostering a new worldview in which “issues” aren’t synonymous with “illnesses,” and where psychosis is seen as a societal problem and not a personal one.

Folks in the group see the greed of capitalism, the exclusivity of gender-roles, and the moral stigmas of religiosity— to name a few things— as true madness. The Gainesville Icarus Project is a much-needed sidestream offering hope to those struggling against the current of the mainstream.

The Icarus Project is a wide-spread network that was conceived of and born in 2002 near California’s Bay Area, where it is still based. The original project was the formation of a website intended to unite those who are living with and/or affected by depression, anxiety, anger, mutiple-personalities or other experiences that are commonly labeled as psychiatric conditions, yet who want to approach such experiences from a different angle. It didn’t take long for this small project to turn into a nation-wide movement.

Local groups have been popping up around the country independently, without any sort of push from the Bay Area. The Icarus Project website, and the original Bay Area group, now act as a resource and toolbox for the various groups around the country. Though these groups share the uniquenvision of shifting the paradigm of mental health, they remain autonomous and each exhibit unique identities.

The Gainesville Icarus Project is still in the process of forging its own identity. The group was formed in Oct. 2010 in the wake of Free University’s DIY Fest during a workshop on radical mental health. The conversation made it clear that our community could greatly benefit from an Icarus-style group.

So far the turnout has averaged 6-10 people, and the group has done well to create a safe and welcoming space for support and encouragement. There are no leaders. Interested folks have simply come together with the common goal of supporting each other. I’ve watched folks who don’t know each other openly share their struggles and offer advice, all with a spirit of compassion and understanding.

The Icarus Project acknowledges that issues are serious and can be extremely difficult to navigate, and that professional care is sometimes necessary. We encourage individuals to make their own decisions about the care they receive.

Some of us pay a professional counselor, and some of us don’t trust authority, or lack the funds for “professional advice.” Some of us are on meds, and some of us are adamantly opposed to them. What we have in common is a desire to support each other as friends, and a deep suspicion of this pathological society that has enough disregard to label us the crazy ones.

We hold meetings on the third Thursday of each month at 7pm in the back courtyard of the Civic Media Center (433 S. Main Street). All are welcome. We sit around a bonfire, sharing snacks and stories, conspiring the creation of a new world where friends are our counselors, community is our hospital, and conversation is our medicine.

As we venture down the sidestreams, and as our wings of imperfection fly us dangerously close to the sun, we discover things only seen by a crazy few.

To learn more, check out The Icarus Project online.

This piece was printed as our Monthly Manifesto for Feb. 2010. The Monthly Manifesto is an outlet for local organizations to share their vision with the rest of Gainesville. If you’re part of an organization that may be interested, email us at alt.publication@gmail.com.

Creationism is not science.

I wish I could leave it at that, but this anti-science has reared its head again, this time in the recent election of creationist April Griffin to the Alachua County school board. The problem with creationism comes from a deep-seated misunderstanding of evolution and its relationship with religion.

Evolution is the glue that holds biology together. Without it, the life sciences make no sense. The basis of evolution is simple: Genetic variations with selective pressures given long periods of time will produce speciation. Put more plainly, if there is a trait that helps you survive and reproduce, you will have an advantage over your competition. Given enough time, the prevalence of that trait will grow until it becomes common.

There are numerous claims that creationists make against science. The majority are based on pointing out holes in current scientific understanding, a kind of “God in the gaps” approach. As science progresses and fills in the gaps, creationists have to continuously step up their anti-science (see Kirk Cameron trying to explain how a banana fitting into a human hand disproves evolution) — a sort of who-can-close-their-eyes-the-hardest contest. Here are some of the most common talking points creationists use.

1) No one has seen evolution in action. This theory is based on speculation.

As a microbiologist, I find this offensive. I witness evolution all the time when bacteria gain antibiotic resistance. This is small but very easy to see if you look at Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA), a bug that arose due to evolution and the overuse of antibiotics selecting for specific traits.

2) There are no transitional fossils (intermedeary fossils that show evolutionary transition).

There are. A lot of them actually. My favorites are whales. The Fossils we have have put their evolution as so: the land mammal Indohyus, returns to the water and transitions into Ambulocetus, then after two more known transitions (Protocetid and Basilosaurus), finally ends as Cetaceans – modern whales. Besides, evolution itself is a fluid transitional process. All living species are currently in a state of “transition”.

3) Evolution can’t explain how life started.

Well, it’s not supposed to. The process in which life started that so many creationists talk about is something else all together called “abiogenesis.” This branch of science has many theories (I’m particular to the RNA world hypothesis) but has nothing to do with evolution. Evolution explains how species change over time through natural selection.

Having creationism (or its dressed-up inbred cousin, “intelligent design”) taught in any science class is detrimental to children’s cognitive development. If we teach kids that the earth is 6,000 years old, we’re teaching them that it’s okay to ignore empirical evidence. Being able to shape your beliefs on things that are testable and falsifiable is one of the most important skills anyone can learn.

The majority of creationist B.S. science comes from an unfounded fear of empiricalism, as a challenging of God. This false dichotomy has done nothing but embarrass religion by demonizing science. The danger of Griffin’s recent election is that she is in a position of authority. A position in which she can push for a religious agenda over a scientific one.

A recent study published in Science found that only 28% of high school biology teachers teach evolution, 13% teach creationism, and around 60% either skip the subject altogether or teach both. The most disturbing part of this statistic is the 60% that choose to mention creationism despite every major court case coming down against its teaching in public schools. While the vanguards of science were fighting the creationist in the classroom, these crafty bunch launched the “teach the controversy” campaign — a brilliant strategy that has led to the majority of high school biology teachers being too scared to do their jobs.

Despite what the Tea Party claims, this country was founded on secularism. The founding fathers felt so strongly that religion should be separate from public policy that they mentioned it in the First Amendment. Teaching creationism in public schools would give affirmation to a specific branch of fundamentalist Christianity — a direct contradiction to the Constitution.

Believe what you want, but remember: Reality is what exists in spite of your personal beliefs. And reality is what we need to teach our kids in school.

Griffin’s defiant attitude shines in his frequent challenging of scientific dogmas and counter culture norms, the mark of a good scientist and punk rocker.

The sections on atheism are reminiscent of Stephen Jay Gould with constant questioning and presenting of facts; a welcome departure from the condescending, dismissive tone of Dawkins, Hitchens and company. He reveals how he came to his personal philosophy by reconciling his views on love and the afterlife with the seemingly pointless drive of biology.

His position on environmentalism is described in detail but which political home his world view has found is left to speculation. Is he a social democrat? An anarchist? A tea person? After reading Anarchy Evolution, I’m not sure, but I’ll rock the cross buster more proudly then ever.

As you’ve no doubt heard from every other news outlet, this past Wednesday marked the first anniversary of Haiti’s unexpected earthquake. Once again, you’ve been bombarded by images of malnourished children, wailing mothers, and a devastated Port-au-Prince. Now, one year later, we have the added privilege of watching an outbreak of Cholera devastate those trapped in tent cities.

What you see far less of are the causes and policies which left Haiti so ill-equipped to handle the quake. Only a handful were willing to question why the Chilean quake (an 8.8 magnitude disaster, compared to Haiti’s 7) caused significantly less damage. Natural disasters are difficult to rationalize, especially for its victims. The 2010 quake in Haiti is no exception, but, as we mark the quake’s one year anniversary, we cannot forget that there are reasons why the damage was so severe. Sorry Pat Robertson, it has nothing to do with the devil — and everything to do with how the “developed world” views Haiti.

Immediately following the quake, an overwhelming percentage of the coverage sought to answer the following questions: How did you survive? Where did you go? Has the government done enough? Were you able to find your family? Direct and emotionally saturated, these questions only address the present and near future. One year later, much of the coverage centers around either the mismanagement of aid or the mounting health concerns. There’s one question we don’t hear too often though – How did things get this bad?

Why is food listed as a major import in a country once prized for its Edenic soil? Why must a tropical island fear mudslides and flooding due to deforestation? Why are tourists served fine imported food, at exclusive resorts, only miles away from some of the worst slums this side of Mumbai?

Sadly, the answers to these and many more important questions tend to be found only in a more academic setting. To fully answer them would require a mound of books and historical articles higher than Mount Sella. Of course, it would be unreasonable to expect every journalist and news anchor to become a sudden expert on a region following a natural disaster. Unfortunately, any coverage of Haiti becomes skewed and dangerous without this crucial understanding.

Combine this with the endless images of nameless victims, in addition to the constant reports of corruption and political scandal, and audiences are left with the impression that the fault somehow rests with the Haitian people themselves. We forget that, after their rebellion, Haiti was forced to pay France remittances for their lost property (i.e. the slaves and the profit they reaped). We ignore the following history of predatory loans introduced by the IMF, US AID and the World Bank. We don’t realize the damage done to local farming due to the heavy imports of highly subsidized products (such as rice and powdered milk) from the United States. We don’t imagine that pesky building codes scare away foreign corporations looking to build cheap, exploitative textile factories. Instead, we discuss whether or not to vacation in Haiti and debate the best ways to call, text or purchase our donations.

I hate to break it to you all, but nothing with the label “a percentage of the profit will benefit the relief effort in Haiti” will actually help. At best, it will ease that nagging guilt we experience whenever we see the aftermath. Haiti’s problems run much deeper than the fault lines left by the 2010 quake, and Haitians deserve to solve them alone. It’s heartening to hear Charles Ries, vice president of the Clinton Bush Haiti Fund, refer to Haiti’s 10 million residents as the country’s “most valuable resource,” and admit that “aid-dependent support is not sustainable.” I worry though, when I read about plans for new textile parks and reconstruction contracts being sold to foreign corporations, that the world has once again sought a short-sighted future.

I don’t pretend to be an expert on economics or foreign policy, and certainly have no catch-all solution to the problems briefly sketched above. What I have instead is an overactive empathy gland. If you really want to contribute to Haiti, your best bet is to educate yourself. That way, you’ll be fit to hold your representatives accountable for their policies enacted abroad, as well as avoid repeating harmful stereotypes and misconceptions.

Below, I’ve included links to videos, articles and reference material that give a more comprehensive view of the challenges facing Haiti. None of them are terribly long, but they’re all quite interesting. So, take some time and familiarize yourself with the people of Haiti. As we remember the earthquake that shook the world one year ago, I can think of no better way to honor the dead than by learning their history.

Unfortunately, at the start of 2010, a severe freeze swept over the state, threatening Florida’s crops. Farmers fought for their right to use water in excess of regulated limits so they could spray their crops and protect them. The Southwest Florida Water Management District allowed strawberry farmers in Plant City to pump an extra 1 billion gallons of groundwater from the Floridan Aquifer each day for 11 days. As a result of the rapid water draw-down, 760 residential wells went dry and 140 sinkholes were created.

A few months later, all the crops became ready to harvest and hit the market at once. Strawberry prices plummeted. Farmers chose to destroy the recently saved crops instead of harvesting them at a monetary loss.

As clean supplies of potable water dwindle across the globe, the debate over who owns the water and has rights to it has intensified.

The United Nations claims that water is fundamental to life and a precondition for the realization of human rights, yet more than 800 million people worldwide lack access to safe drinking water, 2.6 billion have no access to basic sanitation and an average 1.5 million children under the age of five die every year from waterborne diseases.

Even in developed countries, water is becoming scarce. The St. John’s River Water Management District currently estimates that by the year 2030, the Northeastern part of Florida will need an extra 91 million gallons of water per day than can feasibly be pumped from groundwater sources without damaging the environment.

To make matters worse, the bottled water industry has been purchasing rights to extract water from spring and underground sources across the country for the last 20 years. By 2009, 22 bottling companies had established operations along Florida’s waterways, pumping anywhere from 500,000 to 1 million gallons per day. Bottle and brand label producers in the area utilize even more fresh water for their operations. In fact, producing the average bottle of water takes about five times the amount of water contained in the bottle.

Bottled water reports yearly profits of 50% to 200%, which are understandably high. The industry is able to buy cheap extraction permits from local water management districts and only needs to comply with voluntary water treatment standards, which lowers their capital costs.

In 2005 and 2009, The Florida Senate and Governor Charlie Crist, respectively, proposed a state extraction tax on bottling companies, which would have netted about $56 million a year in state revenues. Industry representatives argued that they were being singled out and proposed a state sales tax instead. However, a large portion of the water bottled in Florida is shipped and sold outside the state’s borders, including the Dasani water that Coca Cola bottles nearby from Ginnie Springs. The extraction tax law never passed.

Water is a limited resource. Its proper allocation needs to be enforced or Florida’s world-renowned springs will run dry.

In future editions of The Fine Print, the effects of lax water protection laws, rapid urbanization and the trend to buy bottled water will be explored. Claims from the industry, as well as community activist groups, will be analyzed. Hold your breath.

We’re hosting a benefit show this Thursday, Dec. 9 from 9pm to 2am at 206 NW 2nd Ave. Cover is a $3-$5 sliding-scale donation. The flier for the event is pictured here.

More information for the event is available on the Facebook event page.

Don’t forget to dress up! We’ll be posting (and already have posted!) links, photos, tips and ideas on the Facebook event wall so you’ll know what it was like back in ’44.

Hi guys, and welcome to Drawing of the Moment – a blog that will soon feature work from all of your favorite Fine Print illustrators. To kick this off, I’ll be holding a contest. Remember that typewriter on the second to last page of the November issue, just waiting to be colored, cut out and folded? Well, if you have the manual dexterity to do that, and to take fun photos, send your wittiest photos of your tiny typewriter to leah.beth.herman@gmail.com. The finalists will have their photos posted on the blog. The winner will receive a handmade bookmark by me (if you don’t know what my work looks like, check out the cover this month), or, if you hate my artwork, then I guess I could make you cookies.

Photos must be submitted in a JPEG format, along with your name and a caption. The caption can be serious or stupid. Title your email “DOTM Contest.” Submissions are due by 5PM November 23rd.

Also, here are some revised directions to put your typewriter together:

1.) Color your typewriter.
2.) Cut out typewriter along the outside edge.
3.) From now on, the front of the paper will be referred to as Side A. The back will be Side B. Cut along the dashed line and fold the flap towards Side A. This forms the paper sticking out of your typewriter.
4.) Fold the L-shaped side flaps of the typewriter towards Side B. Fold each of the 4 tabs on the side flaps towards Side B. Put glue on Side A of the tabs.
5.) The plain rectangle in the center is the back of the typewriter. Fold the bottom of the rectangle towards Side B. Fold the top of the rectangle towards Side B. Then fold the final dotted line above that towards Side B to create a tab on the top. Now, put glue on Side A of that tab.
6.) Fold the dotted line above the words “The Fine Print” towards Side B.
7.) There is a tiny dotted line that begins at the keyboard. Fold the top part of the keyboard towards Side A.
8.) There is also a tiny dotted line at the bottom of the keyboard. Fold the bottom part of the keyboard towards Side B.
9.) Make sure the 4 tabs with glue are on the inside of the typewriter, then press them against the top and bottom. Now make sure the other tab is also on the inside and gently press the front of the typewriter against it. Voila!

An example of good journalism? Maybe, if it had been reported about five years ago, before other independent journalists, like Tim Shorrock, starting covering the issue extensively. Jeremy Scahill summed these sentiments up nicely in an article he wrote for The Nation this week:

“[The series'] greatest accomplishment is forcing a discussion onto corporate TV years after it would have had an actual impact.

“The misplaced hype surrounding the Post series speaks volumes to the ahistorical nature of US media culture. Next week, if the New York Times published a story on how there were no WMDs in Iraq, there would no doubt be cable news shows that would act like it was an earth-moving revelation delivered by Moses on the stone tablet of exclusive, groundbreaking journalism.”

We’re glad you caught on, WaPo, but the fact is this is too little, too late. Remember your primary duty when acting (posing?) as the fourth estate: seek the truth as a watchdog for American citizens. Yes, you sought the truth and found it (even if you left out key details, like contractors’ roles in assassinations and torture), but couldn’t you have done this years earlier, when we had more of a chance to pull ourselves out of this contractor addiction? Other journalists did…

Flyer for the upcoming Fine Print Benefit Show, A Night of Sensuous Sounds.

Hey all. We’re pretty excited.

The Fine Print is hosting A Night of Sensuous Sounds, A Benefit Show on Friday, July 23 at 9pm.

Spend a night with us under the summer stars to the seductive sounds of wonderfully talented and generous local musical talents: rapper 2 Piece, Kiiks (http://www.myspace.com/kiiksmusic), James Austin of Eight Ghosts and Anchor Arms (http://www.myspace.com/theanchorarms) and Sir Claude (http://www.myspace.com/sirclaude).

All proceeds benefit The Fine Print’s continued efforts to serve the Gainesville community by filling the void in local, alternative media. You can find a copy of The Fine Print in our boxes on campus and around town as well as in local businesses.

We hope to see you there for a night of good music, good people and good times for a good cause.

Also, we’ll make some of the featured artists’ music available for streaming on the website in the coming week.

Facebook event link: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=139079809444516#!/event.php?eid=139079809444516&ref=ts

That’s right. The rumors are true. Hair is a great adsorber of oil, and two local Gainesville salons are collecting their clippings to send to the Gulf.

“Hair does not absorb oil,” according to an article written in in the Alaska Science Forum. “Oil clings to hair in a process known as adsorption, in which the tiny scales on hair snag and hold oil.”

Cloud 9 Spa and Salon and Salon La Di Da are sending their hairy waste to Matter of Trust, a San Francisco-based organization that’s mobilizing around the country for the oil spill clean-up cause. It sends the excess hair to the Gulf region where it will be used to construct booms to stop the potential spread of oil to the shores.

So think before you cut and help participate in cleaning up one of the worst spills our country has seen yet.

The Environmental Working Group surveyed the most popular fruits and vegetables we eat here in America and how many pesticides are used, on average, on each.

Interesting facts: Celery ranks worst when it comes to pesticide contamination, with peaches at second and strawberries at third.

But if you can, eat local, and check out Gainesville’s Eat Local Challenge going on now!