The week of action began this Sunday, Nov. 1st and lasts for the week, as part of a national effort born from the March on Washington and Equality Across America, to fight for LGBT equality. Members of the Queer Activist Coalition here in Gainesville (QAC) (disclosure: I’m a member of the group) has different things lined up. I’ll try to keep abreast on any developments across the country.

Besides grassroots activities, there’s been a lot of developments since the NEM to suggest that activists weren’t pressuring merely the ground. Firstly, the anti-hate act I discuss in my previous post quickly passed through the legislature, and Obama wasted no time giving it his John Handcock. Then, Republican-turned-Democrat Arlen Specter came out in repeal of DOMA on the Huff Post. In Gainesville, members of QAC marched with the student-farm worker alliance in solidarity of human rights issues. In a recent phone conference with the ISO, who really brought it out for the NEM, I learned about what people are doing all across the U.S. to push for equality.

This march is having a larger and larger impact. The Week of Action will be a rest test of what can be done on a grassroots basis, and I’ve seen nothing about it in the gay-blogosphere.

In other news, last week’s “That’s Gay” segment of Infomania was pretty funny, and got me thinking about the social constructions of sexuality. Those familiar with John D’Emilio’s scholarship will probably tell you that the conversion therapy argument warrants some debate. There’s an extreme difference between gay identity and gay behavior, and gay identity is a strictly modern phenomenon. While “gay desires” cannot be averted, identity is self-proclaimed. So any closeted frat guy with a girlfriend, looking for other “str8 actin” men for a sexual encounter on Criagslist is free to consider themselves straight insofar as their behavior remains private, and they can disassociate it from their identity without psychological repercussions.

Those that can’t, may seek some form of therapy. In a free world, people can repress whatever feelings or desires they like and call themselves what they will. The reason why this stuff scares the hell out of me isn’t just because of how fucked up it is that someone would seek therapy, but how sexual identity is socially constructed. It has a two-fold effect: 1) affirming that homosexuality is an innate desire, but 2) relegating behavior to reshape identity. It depoliticizes the issues of identity and has an effect on sexuality in our society.

This is why issues like DOMA are so important. The government’s laissez-faire approach to sexuality would not only be more accepting, but would open the door for people to publicly take sexuality outside of the gay-straight binary that it has been cast it.

Then I got to thinking about it a little bit more. What’s at the essence of this piece of law? It sends a message that homophobic violence will be met with a more serious consequence. In doing so, we are first making the bare assumption that a greater punishment will be the deterrent of a crime. Aside from the very good points RadicalQueer brings up, this notion tends to bother me a bit. Is legislation the pinnacle of action towards deterring violence? Think of the areas with the highest amount of crime or violence? In your opinion, what are some of the root causes of crimes and violence?

I would be more inclined to think it is social conditions that generate attitudes of both hate and violence. These attitudes are better addressed in public schools, in workplaces and churches and social organizations. Legislation, in this case, seems to be a more descriptive act, representing not only the way we authenticate hate, but what ways are the best for addressing hateful attitudes.

Or am I wrong? Is the base assumption that greater justice must be exacted upon citizens of a civilized society that practice hate and violence? Still, I am not under the assumption that violence in any form is some random phenomena that can carry a justifiably higher punishment. Hate and violence, however irrational or inhumane, are part of systems of oppression that have causes for their effects. By punishing more, we’re only creating the myth that hate is not our problem, its the bigots.

What do you think? New insights? Out of my mind?

“Just like Blackberrys, parking passes and expense accounts, these are just tools to allow Student Government to do its job,” Johnson said. “Without them, we’d never get any work done!”

Student Senator Jon Ossip opposed the idea, suggesting instead that fines from the arrests of SG officials in subsequent DUIs should go to the subscription of Le Monde, one of the largest French-language newspapers in the world, as part of the SG Readership Program.

“It’s absolutely preposterous that at an institution such as UF, which claims to be part of a ‘global society,’ honors students can’t find French-language newspapers anywhere on campus! What is this, state college?” Ossip said.

After a landslide SG election victory by the Unite Party, the Pan-Hellenic Council released a statement saying all students should become united under a common cause. The statement also mentioned that the English major minority was responsible for the university’s budget problems, adding that Santa Fe College was encroaching on UF’s natural, God-given territory, and Begrüßen Sie Gator Nation.

UF’s Center for Public Health issued a statement warning students to stay away from Radical Rush for fear of catching a more contagious virus than H1N1: giving a shit.

“We’re told that the pathogen can be exchanged through dialogue,” officials said. “If students start feeling like they can be a part of a greater change in society, they’re advised to stay at home and watch Maury.”

SG has issued Starbucks VIA around campus to help consumers avoid contamination.

“We’re encouraging everyone to remain calm… which is ironic considering the coffee and everything,” Senate President Audrey Goldman said. “But seriously, try to stay as apathetic as possible. I wouldn’t even worry about worrying.”

The Infirmary suggests using sarcasm to combat any feelings of do-wellness.

A new university poll suggests students care more about how much they pay for their food than the actual food they are eating.

“That sounds about right,” said Aramark spokeswoman Jill Rodriguez. “I mean, I work for Aramark, and I still bring a bag lunch. Have you tried that stuff lately? It’s like prison food. Oh, wait…”

The poll, conducted by the Graduate Statistics program, was funded by Aramark in order to find out exactly how much it could jack up the prices and only piss off 30% of its customer base.

“I mean, those Krishnas are out there charging four bucks for their lunches! C’mon!” Rodriguez said. “We can’t compete with that! And they don’t even get their food from migrant workers.”

The Fine Print is not responsible for anybody taking this seriously. The fake news presented here does not necessarily reflect the opinions of The Fine Print.

“The elevation of the family to ideological preeminence guarantees that a capitalist society will reproduce not just children, but heterosexism and homophobia.”

– John D’Emilio, Capitalism and Gay Identity

For the last several months, this sentence has haunted me and kept me awake at night. Every time I hear the word “gay” or “lesbian” in the news, it is followed by some form of the word “equal,” and I can’t help but wonder what that means anymore. It’s the banner of every Rachel Maddow talking point, the pariah of every Bill O’Reilly pundit.

Most people will give a clear, definitive response to what they mean by equality: marriage. Personally, I take a hate-the-sin-love-the-sinner approach to marriage. Activists and lobbyists alike throw their arms up at this injustice, like the worst thing in the world is being denied the right to be a miserable divorcee with the rest of the country. Imagine me, free to be forced to reconcile banking statements, insurance policies, child-rearing practices and geographic locality with the person I thought I loved senior year of college. The American Dream.

The Human Rights Campaign invests billions of dollars for the sake of marriage while transgender teens (a small minority of the overall population) represent some of the highest in homelessness and suicide rates. Equality could start somewhere closer to anti-discrimination, anti-hate speech, domestic violence prevention and health care reform. It could broaden domestic household rights to include any individuals under a roof and provide more monetary autonomy for every kind of monogamous couple. It could fulfill the sexual revolution that the Gay Liberation Front set out to do almost 40 years ago in 1970.

So it would be an understatement to say that a month before the National Equality March on Washington, D.C., I was reluctant. I had tied myself to the irrational idea that I, as a gay man, could go as an observer and “critique” what I saw. I wanted to put my finger to the pulse of this thing, to take it apart and see what makes it tick.

Instead, less than a month away, the opposite happened. This Pandora’s Box, equality, had more going on within it than outside of it. Protesters who had only cared about Proposition 8 began to talk about the endemic homelessness rate among transgender youth. Heterosexual couples began seeking domestic partnership status instead of marriage. In Gainesville, the Pride Community Center wouldn’t throw its support behind the March, and The International Socialist Organization was the only group in Gainesville to provide transportation for interested parties. As socialism is no longer the dirty word Fox News catered it to be, socialists put themselves at the head of a national movement. The Advocate, by no means a left-leaning publication, featured a purple and pink portrait of Obama and asked the question on many queer people’s minds: “Nope?”

So I put my full support into it. I missed classes, asked for donations and handed out fliers. I got a schedule for all the workshops for the weekend. Plane ticket in hand, my obsession doubled. Equality, it seemed, had drawn my attention as well as the nation’s. Equality, it would seem, was in some type of ménage à trois with Liberty and Justice. And this had extended beyond any pornographic desire. I wanted in.

So I decided: to Washington.

Demanding Equality

“We’re not organizing to march; we’re marching to organize!”

– Sherry Wolf, activist

I fly into Dulles instead of Reagan on principle. There’s something about coming to a gay rights march and landing in an institution named solely for the man who killed more gay people with a mere qualification of nonexistence that (because it doesn’t feel right?) doesn’t feel right. Sure, maybe it took an extra two hours to get to my destination 30 minutes before the Metro closed down for the night, but I have principles, damn it.

D.C. is pretty disgusting. Chinatown is all of three blocks and includes a Ruby Tuesday, which, the last time I checked, only specialized in Asian-specific cuisine as a seasonal promotion à la sweet-and-sour Cajun chicken dinner plates. The image of “the man” is pervasive: stopping at street corners on cell phones, scrolling on BlackBerrys in the subway; they can even be spotted on the yet-gentrified blocks of Columbia Heights. Everywhere, the ideal of an overweight white man in a dress shirt is incessant. These are men who buy Bowflexes as living room ornaments and men who haven’t had their pant legs hemmed since the ’70s.

Most of the events start to kickoff on Saturday. The Human Rights Campaign headquarters has a slew of fact sheets for each state and tables for writing letters to your representatives. They have workshops, buttons and sign-making stations for the March on Sunday.

At noon, a small group of us gather at the Taft Memorial, waiting on details via text for a flash mob protest that is supposed to be taking place. “Stonewall 2.0,” they say. We all get notified about a half-hour later telling us to meet at Union Station. In the lobby, it’s starting to fill with people. Another half-hour later and I’m frozen with about a hundred other people, camcorder in hand, trying to record the event for The Fine Print’s web site. We march outside and start yelling chants from generation’s past: “Gay Straight, Black White! Same Struggle, Same Fight!” It seems like the crowd has grown: 100, maybe 200, people, nearly all under 25. It feels good, and as we make our way to the Capitol, tourists look confused. What do we want? Equality! When do we want it? Now!

The Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell protest an hour later isn’t as successful. Forty-five minutes into it and they’re still asking us to text our friends to come. They hand out tattoos straight from the NoH8 campaign that fought the passage of Proposition 8. When I leave, they’re beginning to duct tape mouths. But I’ve got someplace else to be.

I arrive right on time at Busboys and Poets, and there’s a line around the railing outside, circling the building. Inside are Sherry Wolf and Cleve Jones, two of the organizers of the March. They’re giving a talk on LGBTQ Liberation. Jones was responsible for the NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt in the ’80s and personally took up the call for the March. Wolf just wrapped up a tour for her new book and to drum up support for the March. I sneak my way in right before they speak. It’s wall-to-wall people inside.

Wolf says the March is about one thing: full equality in all matters governed under civil law in all 50 states. This means adding sexual orientation and queer identity to the 1964 Civil Rights Amendment. She says this concept of pride over protest and lobbying incrementalism over direct action is unacceptable.

She also changes my views on marriage. The majority of the LGBTQ population aren’t the affluent, campy white males we see on television. They’re ordinary, working-class people. The material benefits of marriage are more real to them than my college-educated status will be able to understand. Moreover, most of those economic benefits come from the national level. Even couples in states that allow for gay marriage are denied those rights.

Wolf ties LGBTQ protest to other direct, leftist political actions. She talks about how Harvey Milk was successful in striking beers in gay bars for labor unions and how the Gay Liberation Front, born from Stonewall, was vehemently anti-war.

“I don’t want to see DADT [Don't Ask, Don't Tell] repealed so that our gay brothers and sisters can go on fighting an illegal war,” she says. ”Here is another reality about the U.S. military: it is the largest employer in our country. I want them to be recognized and receive the benefits for their service everyone gets, and then I want to bring all of our brothers and sisters back home!”

It seems like these people care. Like they get it. Like D.C. isn’t just some vacation to them, and it seems as if people might take this stuff back and start organizing. And that’s what Wolf wants, too.

“It’s not a bad start folks, but we have got to walk away from here with a movement. We’re not organizing to march; we’re marching to organize.”

That night, Obama spoke at the HRC, promising to hear our calls for equality if we continue to make them. Our president invoked Stonewall, when transgender, gay and lesbian working-class people, mostly of color, cornered riot-squad officers into a bar, set fire to the bar and continued to riot for the next several days. That night, queer radicals “glamdalized” the HRC headquarters by tagging “Quit Leaving Queers Behind” in pink spray paint on the door and firing off “glitter-bombs.”

Sunday morning, only a few people were wandering McPherson Square, where the March was to begin. But within two hours, curious stragglers had turned into an enmeshed horde armed with signs, screams and a willingness to demonstrate. The parks couldn’t hold crowds, then the streets couldn’t, and people spilled over in every direction.

The International Socialist Organization had a massive contingent group marching, mostly young people. With megaphones and signs to hand out to everyone passing by, they made it clear that, as part of their political belief, they stood for equality for all and saw the marginalization of gay people as a gross inequality.

Signs everywhere referenced Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Employment Non-Discrimination Act and the Defense of Marriage Act. Groups from colleges all across the country, as well as UF, protested that they wouldn’t stand for this any longer. Radical Queers marched against heteronormativity, poverty and capitalism. Even Lady Gaga, as detracting as her and her entourage’s presence may have been, marched.

Past the Washington Monument in the distance, past the White House and those screaming support on the balcony of the Newseum, the crowd spilled into the Capitol lawn for a rally that would last the rest of the day. Jones, two days after his birthday, begged the crowd to please take protest back home with them.

The Politics of Equality

“Perhaps the crowd at the dinner last night was a little more politically aware and had a better sense at what’s at stake and what can be done.”

– HRC President Joe Solmonese, referring to the HRC banquet

Coverage in general was slim. The majority of print media was this: Are the gays mad at Obama? Broadcast tended to say it directly. The Washington Post, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal and USA Today all hinted at it. Their scope of issues covered similar ones that were focused on at the March: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Employment Non-Discrimination Act and the Defense of Marriage Act. Rarely did I hear mention of full-blown, one-measure equality –- like the kind Sherry Wolf alluded to.

CNN did tend to delve deeper. In a five-panel discussion after the HRC banquet, Michelangelo Seniorelli alluded to the fact that the HRC mostly represents white, affluent men. The next day, Joe Solmonese defended the HRC and, in doing so, perhaps suggested that economic privilege is a direct link to incremental, lobbyist approaches.

What still remains unclear is if and how the March on Washington’s aftermath will come to fruition. Will there be a national grassroots movement at all? Will it focus on the high-density urban areas many gay people live in? Will it be for single issues, or will it demand full equality now? Will assimilation versus acceptance, as queer radicals connote, take center stage? Will it incorporate issues such as universal health care and migrant farm labor?

What myopia of these issues was actually covered by the media only scratched the surface. Gay Liberation, to pick up where it left off, is going to require a much more politically astute and active base, and it is going to have to lead the way in activism for many more issues that make up the great “change” our society needs.

It has been a long day and I will deconstruct everything later. And there is a lot to deconstruct. I encourage everyone to comment and add to the discussion in the coming days. It’s essential that we all do.

What I will say is this: I did not expect that at all. It’s a good thing and it doesn’t in any way change what people are doing. Obama’s speech made the role of protest for LGTB issues and coalition building (read human issues) all the more important and relevant than they ever have been. It was a damn-fine speech, frankly, and I was prepared for that.

Here’s a quick and dirty of what you need to know:

- Flashmob protest for Equality was bad-ass. An intern from The Nation says he’s putting up a video on the Web site. We’ll see when it comes up. I have videos of my own to add once I get it up. And lots of pictures.

- HRC had letters info and supplies for you to write a letter to your representative concerning issues. Corrine Brown, expect a letter.

- The other protest for DADT was a straight-up from the post-8 NoH8 playbook. I left after 45 minutes, and they were still asking people to text and call people to come.

- The Cleve Jones and Sherry Wolf liberation talk wasn’t a talk. It was a call to action! The place was packed, and people were gathered outside just to listen. It was inspirational in the least.

- I’m already late for the HRC picket, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it. We’ll see.

March tomorrow!

Gay, Straight, Black White! Same struggle, same fight!

Yet at the same time, the working-class gays and lesbians (a majority of the demographic) have no support for anti-marriage/anti-assimilation strategies. The economic, emotional and personal benefits of marriage are real. They deserve them.

It seems that these two groups, working-class gays and lesbians and queer radicals should have so much of an agenda they can agree on, so much work to do together.

Take Harvey Milk for example. He built a minority coalition that battled homophobia while simultaneously working for labor rights, rights of the elderly and anti-gentrification. The Gay Liberation Front was vehemently anti-war and the Gay and Lesbian Academic Union put gender inequality at the top of their five-point agenda.

And what about today? Sometimes I’m just way too confused, if not totally distraught.

But I digress. On to Washington.

(Addendum: Donna, featured in the socialistworker.org link, is a member of the Gainesville community and recently spoke at a PSU protest last week in Turlington Plaza.)

Sweet Melissa talks about how divorce could lead to equality. And Ann Coleman breaks own how marriage equality is about something greater. I used to be pretty anti-marriage, mostly on the basis that it gets the bulk of activist/lobbying time and resources. But if you listen to Sherry Wolf’s interview, she makes a strong argument for how referendums like Proposition 8 propel people into thinking about the larger spectrum of queer and sex lib. issues.

After the Alligator’s editorial drama, I’ve been discussing the concept of free speech with a lot of people. I’m all for anti-hate speech (although I don’t think Dove Ministries’ rhetoric went so far as to be called hate speech). Some people seem to think that’s a breech of freedom of speech in itself. I tend to think there’s a difference between expressing an opinion and using language as a means of oppression. Words like ‘fag,’ when used in derogatory contexts, are calls to violence in and of themselves. And sexual harassment in the workplace inherently implies women on a lower status. Anyways… I thought this was appropriate.

Speaking of oppression and violence, a community organizer is holding a town meeting to discuss the Atlanta bar raid from last month.

I’ve never listened to Mika before, but mad props on simultaneously coming out and supporting sexual fluidity.

QueerToday links to a petition for health care reform. Please take the time to fill it out. Health care is an GLTBQ issue as much as any other!

Finally, in case you didn’t hear about the UCSC protests, Bashback threw its support in. Which I guess isn’t all that surprising.

I’m really excited because TFP just had a meeting for the October issue, and I’ll be working on a whole spread covering the March on Washington. Everyone has thrown their two cents into the debate since it was announced this summer.

I’m stoked to be able to go and talk to young people across the country about the future of activism/queer politics. What does grassroots activism mean in an age of endless blogs just talking about issues? Every month I give my $10 to the Human Rights Campaign, but I can’t help but feel like I’m just contributing to a larger problem — lobbying. People rarely think of politics as something they actively participate it.

So what are your opinions of the March? Are you planning on going? And what kind of coverage would you like to see of it, in print and on the Web?

I’m really excited because TFP just had a meeting for the October issue, and I’ll be working on a whole spread covering the March on Washington. Everyone has thrown their two cents into the debate since it was announced this summer.

I’m stoked to be able to go and talk to young people across the country about the future of activism/queer politics. What does grassroots activism mean in an age of endless blogs just talking about issues? Every month I give my $10 to the Human Rights Campaign, but I can’t help but feel like I’m just contributing to a larger problem — lobbying. People rarely think of politics as something they actively participate it.

So what are your opinions of the March? Are you planning on going? And what kind of coverage would you like to see of it, in print and on the Web?

I initially began writing columns my junior year of high school. I was a faux self-help columnist with a penchant for mocking angst-be-gone woes. By the time my career ended my senior year, with the autobiographical A Matt’s Something You Walk On, I did a thank-you to all of the people who had gotten me through high school and taught me about life.

Becoming a part of The Fine Print family has been the most rewarding part of my college experience. But the best part of a column is its voice, and the best part of The Fine Print is the diversity of voices. So without further ado, adieu. I end with an ode to my college experience and the 20-nothing:

Here’s to the things that get me through the day: coffee, cigarettes, bicycles and naps. Here’s to smelly couches, crashing couches and couch vagabonds. Here’s to the irregularity of bodily functions. Here’s to Guthrie’s and anal sex. Here’s to some great music and some awful karaoke. Here’s to free beer nights and oldie nights and The L Word nights. Here’s to small worlds, new faces, embarrassing Facebook tags and awkward moments. Here’s to Spaghetti Wednesday Krishna Lunch. Here’s to bad dates and shirtless joggers during rush hour. Here’s to Video Rodeo, the Civic Media Center, Maude’s, Ward’s, Tim and Terry’s and all the local places ending in apostrophes. Here’s to local color. Here’s to eating once at The Swamp and never going back. Here’s to Leonardo’s Spin Tom with a quarter-dozen rolls. Here’s to getting Leo’s cashiers to smile. Here’s to the social mecca that is TargetCopy at two o’clock in the morning, Adderall and all-nighters.

Here’s to the people I’ve passed by on campus a million times but never bothered saying hi to. Here’s to changing majors, colleges and careers. Here’s to not knowing what a career is anymore. Here’s to the protestors, the activists and the people who gave a shit. Here’s to those who learned to give a shit and to passing the torch. Here’s to Third Ave., Eighth Ave., Sixth Street and Main Street. Here’s to caddy-corner crosses at University and 13th.

Here’s to shitty jobs and quitting.

Here’s to being broke.

Here’s to Hawthorne, Micanopy, the Waldo Flea Market and Cedar Key. Here’s to everyone I ever came into contact with, for better or worse.

And here’s to the death of a columnist.

It was almost a year ago in the summer when Dr. Ann Wehmeyer, chair for the Department of African and Asian Languages and Literatures, got a phone call. It was UF Provost Joe Glover. Cuts would be made to her program to meet the College of Liberal Arts and Science’s 6 percent budget reduction. Faculty members would be laid off. There was no room for negotiation.

There are no official numbers regarding the start of the proposed cuts. Initially, about 28 lecturers were to be cut. Then it looked like 15 would be let go. But the number was whittled down as departments scrounged up money to save their educators. In the end, seven would receive notices. Six were women; all were foreign-born.

At the time of the phone call, Andrea Pham, a Vietnamese professor, wasn’t anywhere near the maze of hallways that make up her department on the third floor of Pugh Hall.

She was sought out by UF before she even defended her thesis in linguistics research. Pham was promised a lecturer to take a load off the courses she would be teaching so she could continue her research. But that was six years ago, and Pham was now spending the summers she had off to continue her research in Buenos Aires. It wouldn’t be until after friends told her about some layoffs that she would get the news.

“We were kept in the dark,” Pham said.

That is one of the things that frustrated her most.

“Tell me frankly, we’ll sit down together, she said. “But there was no communication. We were not really human to them.”          

Pham’s tenure application was denied on the basis of her dismissal, despite her being on tenure track and the application’s submission before her dismissal notification.

So she and two of her colleagues filed grievances. But in initial hearings, the administration stood by its decisions. UF President Bernie Machen’s Council on Diversity remained silent on the matter.

“They fought, but they did not even think for a moment about the impact,” she said.

She eventually won her case, but the Vietnamese program is still at risk of being lost altogether, despite the Student Senate’s unanimous support for keeping it in place.

“For some students, this is their connection, their root, to understand their own families,” she said.

Pham hopes that students are successful in saving the language program because languages are cultures.

Cleaning House

“It does turn out that foreign-born minority women are easy targets,” said John Biro, a philosophy professor in CLAS and UF chapter president of the United Faculty of Florida.

The UFF represented Pham in her arbitration against the university. Biro said even in a best-case scenario – given that layoffs were not intentionally racist and sexist, given that certain departments were able to find funds to retain faculty, given that female-dominated programs in the humanities and languages are not part of the “historical strengths” of the university – the administration should have at least questioned its own goals in diversity, globalization and culture.

“Measured by any of those criteria, this outcome should have been seen as inconsistent with their professed goals, but they continued to defend it as inevitable and unavoidable,” Biro said.

Not all of the women given notice brought a grievance with the university. Biro said he thinks this is because in certain cultures individuals do not fight back or complain against authority, especially women.

“I think they felt uncomfortable doing that,” he said. “Not every place is like America.”

The UFF does not arbitrate with individual deans and their budget decisions, but only with the university policy as a whole. This is where Biro sees faults with the university’s policies concerning the budget.

“There’s been no hiring freeze,” he said. “You don’t resort to layoffs before there’s been a hiring freeze.”

Three weeks ago in the Chronicle of Higher Education, UF had more than 100 positions open to administrators, vice presidents, medicine, engineering and business jobs – jobs dominated by white men.

“It’s not hard to discern the kind of institution [Machen] wants it to turn into,” Biro said. “Intended or not, the consequence would be a larger hit on women and minorities with no special thought to that consequence.”     

Machen’s Macabre

Machen stated in February that we should view cutbacks not as a result of the bad economy or monetary problems, but as a chance to reshape the university.

“It means that we focus more on graduate education and research, and we focus less on undergraduate education,” he said, according to an article in The Gainesville Sun on Feb. 21.

 In March, the university’s Board of Trustees stated UF will focus on its “historical strengths,” as it always has.

The UF administration has argued and lobbied for the same tuition rates as its peer institutions, universities with similar curriculum, research, undergraduate population, reputation and university acceptance standards. It has not provided the same support of the undergraduate liberal arts and sciences. Not a single peer university in the country, like the University of Michigan or University of Wisconsin-Madison, has had equal monetary restraints placed on its undergraduate programs.

In February, the UF administration requested from the College of Nursing and College of Education to see budget proposals with the elimination of their undergraduate programs. Both deans requested the ability to send proposals showing cuts in their undergraduate programs without full elimination. As a result, the programs are not being cut, but reduced.           

Machen stated in February that UF did not need to use its money to support programs in the education and nursing fields, for which individuals could go to less-esteemed schools. Women primarily occupy both fields.

As Machen and his administration are dismantling the University of Florida into a vocational institution for the world of white-collar men, it seems some of the first to be on the chopping block have been women, particularly those of minority groups. The soft humanities, obscure languages, and  less important job roles don’t seem to make the cut. Whether it was intended, these decisions drastically affect the roles of women at our university and change the message we’re sending out to the rest of the Gator Nation.

The welfare of the state depends upon the morals of its citizens.

                        – University of Florida motto

I’ve tried to quit more times than there are days in the year. It was once a running joke among people I knew that if it was Monday, then it must mean Matthew was trying to quit smoking.

I’m not ignorant of the dangerous health effects of smoking, let alone the dent a pack a day can make in my wallet. Ironically enough, I wrote the best D.A.R.E. essay in my fifth grade class (a feat that won me a D.A.R.E. “Role Model” T-shirt I proudly donned in my late teens when I first began smoking).

But as much as I try, or even want to quit smoking, there is an addiction that surpasses the biochemical reactions in my brain – a metaphysical addiction – that I associate with my habit.

While smoking was once a popular endeavor (and in its wane celebrity-driven), today it is a purely anti-social habit. It’s a self-deprecating isolation from parties and conversations for a step out to the apartment balcony, the object of a weekly non sequitur in the editorial pages of the Alligator and the exploited bane of individuals from every race, gender and sexual orientation, not to mention an hourly wage earning position.

It’s specifically why I take so much gratification in the act: the purely unhealthy vindication of feeling as anti-establishment as I did when I was sneaking into gay bars in high school, pack in hand.  Now I’m beyond even the frays of D.A.R.E. program rejectees, somehow turning the very idea of self-sustainability upright on its yellow-stained, ashen butt.

Barbara Ehrenreich understood the same concept in working class America: “Because work is what you do for others; smoking is what you do for yourself. I don’t know why the antismoking crusaders have never grasped the element of defiant self-nurturance that makes the habit so endearing to its victims – as if, in the American workplace, the only thing people have to call their own is the tumors they are nourishing and the spare moments they devote to feeding them.”

The real causes of smoking do not lie in the cultural norms, necessarily. They are hidden in the shadows of gay bars, backroom diners and ghettos. They permeate from inequalities and cannot be cured with an ineffective, anti-substance program.

“That’s why we have an alarm system,” she would tell me.

“Mom, crazy people like the alarm system. That’s why they’re crazy,” I would honestly harp back.

And perhaps it is the fact I was such an oddball child to raise that it hasn’t been until now that I’ve begun to see her as, well, a person who isn’t just is my mother. She’s also the woman who takes me aside when I’m home to show me remnants of her own habit.

“I want you to know I don’t condone you smoking. But if you want, there are some ash trays right here you can take out back.”

She asks me questions about being a gay man and then follows it up with, “I want you to know if I ever ask something and sound ignorant, it’s only because I am.”

And suddenly, that thin venire of maternity is torn away. As if my own adult status has given me the right to view my mother as an adult, with her own histories and textures.

She’s a person who was one of the few women to be in ROTC while at the University of Florida. She refused an interview by the Alligator at the time because it was more important that she fit in than stand out. Later when she enlisted, all the men hated her for being able to operate a helicopter petal better than them. She’s a daughter in her own right, who had to mediate two divorced parents as best she could at her wedding. She’s a person that confesses to craving a smoke after a single glass of wine and more than two decades of not taking a puff.

Several weeks before my birthday, grabbing lunch with me in town, she summed it up best.

“Are you excited about turning 21?” she asked.

“No. I’m not ready to grow up, Mom. I have too much fun being a kid.”

“You know, for a period in my life, I was a mother, and I loved it. But it was just a stage in my life. Now I’m a student again, going back to get my doctorate. I think you just have to accept the stages in your life and not stress over them too much.”

Typical. Mom knew best. But she also understood that I was now an adult. And part of that maturity means being able to see your parents more completely as human beings, good and bad.

Oh, don’t try pretend like you didn’t know all along! The signs were there: the socialized healthcare pamphlets under my mattress, my friend Steve who’s registered independent, my extreme obsession with the Underdog cartoon! There was that time I was reading the newspaper and said, “democracy is being swamped by the confluence of money, politics and concentrated media.” That’s Nader!

Listen, I know what you’re going to say. A vote for Nader was only a vote against Obama. Don’t you get it? It’s a vicious cycle that will only be broken until more people are willing to accept that the Democratic and Republican parties alike are too awash with special- and self-interest to effectively manage government. Besides, Nader voters ruining Florida for the Democratic ticket last election, arguably, only made it possible for such a high-aspiring candidate like Obama to even make it past this primary. Think about it. By helping Bush ruin America, we really kind of saved it in the long-run. Mostly, Obama will probably temper angry liberals in this country and still allow big business to further exploit citizens. I just feel like he took advantage of that young demographic wanting change for a now more moderated tone.

I tried hiding it for a long time, tried to be for Obama like everyone else. But after he voted to giving amnesty to cell phone companies after saying he wouldn’t, I just can’t. I need someone who genuinely wants to see change, and not just the idea. Someone who’s tried-and-true enough to keep running because he believes in the cause and not because he believes he’ll get elected. I’m tired of this tug-of-war.

Listen reader, this is just the way it is, okay? I’m here, I voted for Nader and I’m not going anywhere. Me and Steve might even campaign next election for the third party candidate. That’s right, we’re going to be campaigning together. I knew you would react this way! Make it about you! Make it about your vote. God, I can’t take it anymore more. You’re not my real reader! I have no reader!

She sees me: gay male.

She sees my roommate, close friend: straight female.

“That’s so cute! You two are just like Will and Grace!”

The comment’s off-putting in a similar way, I imagine, to the face these same people make when I offer them some of my Krishna lunch and they ask with speculation what’s in it.

Except it induces anger.

I wish I could tell you I think gay stereotypes have come a long way, or that I was being unnecessarily extravagant in my use of italics. But then there are moments like these, and I wasn’t.

So why get worked up about it? Ignorance isn’t something one generally gets too steamed about. After all, I’m the one being too P.C. In an age of beer pong and reality television, you could argue this sort of naivety is a virtue. I’m out of my element, anyway. Twenty-eight years from now, and I’ll probably be watching some of the guys here screaming “U-S-A” at the Republican National Convention.

It’s like David said, “there’s only so much you can do for a person who thinks Auschwitz is a kind of beer.”

David Sedaris.

Never mind.

Maybe it’s because every time I find myself at one of these parties, some girl always comes up to me with this remark. It comes right before the you’re-the-second-gay-person-I’ve-ever-met-so-you-and-the-only-other-gay-person-I’ve-ever-met-must-be-soulmates-I-should-introduce-you remark.

With, “I love gay people! We should go shopping together sometime!” in a close second.

This is the same girl, mind you, who doesn’t believe I have a right to see my apparent future “union” mate in the hospital if something should happen to him, or have the right to decide what to do if he’s in a vegetative state.

But at least she likes Will and Grace. And my outfit, describing it with such vivid, spot-on accuracy as, “so cute.”

Not that I own the same pair of Old Navy Diva skinny leg jeans in four different kinds of denim or anything.

At this point, the only way the night can get worse is if her boyfriend comes over and jokingly asks me if I’m the man or the woman in the relationship, a question I could have sworn died out in the last millennia; a question I only know how to answer back with an awkward, “um… versatile?”, followed by an even more awkward silence.             Pigeon holing gay people into draconian heterosexual gender roles is one thing. Stupifying them with the inner workings of man-on-man butt sex is just rude.

Or maybe the reason I’m angry is because if this girl had half a sober mind to actually get to know me she would drop her preconceived notions and realize I am such an emotionally unhinged spaz-case that I am way more like Grace than I will ever be like Will.

“Yeah, just like them,” I say, electing to gulp down my drink instead.